The Lure of Temptation

Last month I had the opportunity to watch Tyler Perry’s latest film entitled, “Temptation: Confessions of a Marriage Counselor”.  I hesitated on giving early commentary on the film mainly because I wanted to give late movie goers a chance to get out and see it.  I’ve always been one to greatly appreciate a film that forces me to think.  I walked away from this film stumped (in a good way), for a number of reasons.  I watched the film with my young adult daughters and it instantly sparked interaction.  I appreciate the way that Tyler Perry is always ready to delve head first into those societal issues that many of us would like to turn a blind eye to.  Temptation is a word that we can explore here for hours on end.  It’s that distracted place that a person in a committed relationship allows themselves to go. It’s definitely not a realm support by our Higher Power.  Temptation can be the onset of complete and total destruction.  Distractions within a relationship are born from many things.  The relationship may have fizzled out due to the high demands of life.  It may be the need for one person in the relationship to fill a void and in doing so they choose a negative way to act that out. Some partners feel as if constant communication is too much of a task and they shy away from it.  Isolation is the complete opposite of oneness in a relationship.  It’s oneness that a couple needs to move forward collectively.  Couples can argue over the silliest of things.  Because we’re all created differently and clearly raised differently, we all have different ways of communicating and dealing with conflict.  Some of us our confrontational while others run from conflict at all costs and in turn sweep things under the rug.  The door that leads to temptation opens the minute that we stop talking.  When we stop talking, we stop communicating.  This works the same way in regard to our relationship with God.  The Bible makes numerous mentions surrounding temptation. Any Christian practicing a faithful walk with God knows that there is a daily deliverance that we need in order to stay away from it.  In Matthew 6:13, the Bible says, “And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one”.

In Perry’s film, he builds upon a concept that I too have always believed in.  Experts in any area gain their expertise through the practice of real life experiences.  People who have applied-knowledge tend to excel and at times even have an advantage over those that have only had the opportunity to study the practiced material in textbooks.  This idea is seen in the film with Jurnee Smollet’s character, “Judith”.  Judith is a marriage counselor in the film and ultimately she gets a little too close to one of her company’s clients.  She’s eager to jumpstart her career with the wealth of knowledge that she accumulated obtaining her Master’s Degree in Counseling.  As a Christian woman that is herself married in the film, she feels highly prepared to open her own practice and to give the world her all.  The adversity she constantly faces in the film is coming to terms with the reality of her simple life.  The young couple are in their mid-twenties she and her husband Brice played by Lance Gross, are just barely making ends meet. Her headstrong, moralistic stance is strong early in the film as she refuses to adhere to the modern chic/sexy dress code of the matchmaking office she’s employed at.  We have a woman with a vision fresh out of graduate school who wants to counsel couples and help them to stay married.  Sounds simple enough right? Hmmmm, the plot is well set because we see that Judith is feeling underappreciated by her young husband.  He’s early in his career as a pharmacist and in many ways he’s just trying to establish himself as a man.  We can feel the genuine love he has for his wife who was also his childhood sweetheart.  Brice can’t afford fancy nights out for his wife, he forgets her birthday and he has this innocent way of diminishing her dreams without meaning to do so. The story takes a dark turn when Judith is given an assignment at the office that forces her to work very closely with “Harley”, played by Robbie Jones a very famous, young billionaire entrepreneur in the film.

Harley is overly charming and extremely vocal in expressing how much he admires a woman of Judith’s caliber.  He plays up the victim role in his past relationship which he claims as being the reason why he’s still single.  Harley in essence is the boyfriend that every woman wants. He’s attentive, encouraging and supportive of future endeavors.  He makes being in a relationship what it should; an exercised team effort. Their forbidden romance spirals out of control quickly.  Like many that fall into the lure and then later the trap of temptation, things get rather messy. Harley goes from charming and having sincere admiration to an aggressive pursuer whose only mission is to remind Judith of what her husband doesn’t do for her. The biblical theme of Adam and Eve began running through my mind; as I closed my eyes still hopeful that Judith would stay strong.  Poor, poor Judith, she gives in to all of her tempter’s whispers for control and she soon finds out that he isn’t who he originally presented to be. Brice begins to catch wind of the affair as does Judith’s mother who is a Christian pastor in the film (played by Ella Joyce).  We watch in awe as Judith begins to lose herself. She changes her style of dress, the way she wears her hair, begins abusing alcohol and cocaine and as if most disheartening she begins sleeping with Harley.  There’s this underlying theme of, “Is the grass really greener on the other side”, we soon see that clearly that it isn’t.  Perry shows us that it’s a small world and many things really do come to light full circle.  Brice happens to be working with a new staff member at the pharmacy that’s on the run from her abusive boyfriend that recently infected her with HIV.  Do I need to say anymore?

Judith ultimately becomes a seasoned marriage counselor because she can now relate to some of the real issues that married folks struggle with.  By the films end, she is somewhat crippled after a monstrosity of a beating inflicted by Harley.  She is HIV positive and she is very divorced from Brice who remarries and has a child with his new wife. Brice does not contract the virus. This is the unfortunate reality of how destructive the path of temptation is.  The shocking blow of Harley, Judith, and Brandy’s character all having HIV is a very hard pill to swallow, while still indulging in buttered movie popcorn. The twist nearly blew me away! I love that Perry made the consequences so extreme.  We live in a risk taking world that I constantly see downplaying the harsh reality of real consequences.  God’s love and protection can be absent when our obedience to him is equally as absent.  People are constantly targeting what they want, exercising their power to obtain their target, and in return they are ending up with a heap of things that they don’t want including STI’s and lots of unnecessary drama. Married couples are falling victim to distraction and in some cases even boredom.  The numbers of new HIV cases in New York City alone is shocking; in Brooklyn, New York they’re astronomical. With rates so high, I guarantee you that each and every one of us knows a person living with the virus; whether or not they’ve disclosed their status to us or not.  Stay safe, stay protected and if you are in a marriage please don’t ever stop communicating with your spouse.  The minute the talking stops, the connection stops, and temptation might just be lurking around every corner. God Bless you all.

Much Luv,

When It All Goes Left

It's pretty rare that a Hollywood story grabs my attention the way that the Kordell Stewart “divorce-filing scandal”, from his seemingly lovely wife Porsha D. Stewart has. I typically leave this type of blogging to the Hollywood Gossip Blogger's because there are more than enough of these types of stories published around the world. This touched my heart though because there is something so innocently genuine about Mrs. Porsha. I definitely had to offer my commentary on this one. Since the top of 2013, I've been taking some time out to focus spiritually and I’ve been on a television fast. I honestly missed the majority of the Atlanta Housewives 5th Season on Bravo. I did by far see enough interaction between Mr. Stewart and his wife to develop an opinion of the pair’s union. I think it's important to say that I think Kordell is a really good guy.  I think he has very traditional values in regard to what the role of being a good wife consists of.  The world of reality TV is still somewhat of a blunder for me. I enjoy it at times but my approach to it is simple, detox entertainment when I'm looking to just kick my feet up on the sofa and relax. On the flipside, I have found that it can be infectiously poisonous to our generation. I've even noticed that there are groups/clubs of women watching the shows together and in some ways mocking the lifestyles of the characters. Living beyond our means and failing to appreciate where we are currently at in our lives can be dangerous. Porsha Stewart touched me differently than any of the other characters that I've seen thus far on any of the current shows out. Porsha never took me as anything other than what the show title indicates that it represents an, "Atlanta Housewife". She was Southern, well-poised, polite, filled with class, with just enough feistiness in her to let you know that she's nobody's punk. This young woman has natural innocence to her that I rarely see today. She also displays and earnestness to be a great wife and a step-mom to Kordell’s child.  I really like that! Whether burning food in the kitchen or trying to coordinate matching outfits for a night out with her hubby, Mrs. Porsha always puts in what seems like extreme effort for her man.
 

The first time I observed Kordell with his wife I remember sensing or slightly thinking that there was some level of insecurity exhibited on his behalf. Having a flawlessly beautiful wife has to be a difficult endeavor for any man. It was one of the early episodes when she was having a fundraiser for her Grandfather's foundation and she introduces Kenya Moore as Miss America versus Miss USA. He kissed his wife sweetly and seemed really enamored by her. That event if everyone remembers was ladies only. A red flag went up immediately with the thought of that concept because the fundraiser would have grossed more revenue had it been co-ed. Why would a husband encourage his wife to have a female-only event? He even made a comment like, “That’s how I like it”. Control issues, low self-esteem and things of that nature crossed my mind but he still just seemed very sweet to me. Controlling men are often difficult to read. They are the men that believe that women have a traditional role to stay in the home and to be the sole caregivers to their children. In a world filled with strong women leaders that are caring for children and still pursuing their own passions Kordell's outlook was a bit much for viewers. It came across as old-school/out-dated. What I think we also got to witness as viewers was that Porsha may not have known exactly how deeply-rooted his traditional beliefs were until she stepped onto the RHOA platform. To be fair, the couple has only been married just shy of two years and there is a significant age difference of nearly 10 years between the two. There's a very interesting twist to this story though and I think it's one that we will find more and more talked about in our culture. Before I could finish writing this post I had to reach out to my cousin Mark. He is the Biggest and I mean the Biggest Pittsburg Steelers Fan that I know! Here's where it all goes left...
 

In 1997, Kordell Stewart called a meeting with his at the time teammates to address rumors that were beginning to surface that the star quarterback might be gay. Kordell was seen frequenting a local park during that time that was known as a local hangout for gay men. I started to wonder if Kordell was really just suffering miserably in his marriage because he was suppressing his natural desire for men. By no means am I suggesting that he didn’t just file for divorce because he didn’t like the direction that his spouse was moving with the show.  Porsha Stewart found out that her husband filed for divorce via Twitter and I thought that was such a low-blow. Living in the same home he never had the audacity to have the discussion with his wife personally. I asked my cousin Mark, “What were your feelings when the stories began circulating that the star quarterback might be gay?” His response was quite simple and just his own honest opinion.  I decided to continue writing this article because a light bulb of curiosity went off in my head. This Monday April 29, 2013, NBA player Jason Collins became the 1^st athlete in the association to announce that he is openly and actively gay.  I thought, “BINGO!” The story broke just 3 days after I started writing this post and I thought, “Wow, what a coincidence”.  I watched video interviews on the internet with Jason’s ex-fiancée who spent 8 years of her life devoted to him. A compellingly understanding woman, Carolyn Moos stated that she didn’t have the slightest idea that Jason was gay. She went on to say that society needs to take a look at how it treats people and players. She points out the lack of support society offers when it comes to homosexuality. Commendably, she went on to say that she is happy for Jason and that he in turn deserves happiness. 
 

Luckily, Jason has received an outpour of support from the media, his team members, family and friends including unexpected support and encouragement from President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Carolyn was deeply saddened in 2009 when Jason unexpectedly called off their engagement.  A hurt that she reports she is still struggling with till this day.  What is happening in the world that we live in?  Have we become so disgustingly judgmental that gay men feel like they have to hide within the walls of heterosexual marriage? Is this the only way they feel like they will be accepted? How many children are being born into homes with gay fathers that are pretending to be straight for the sake of acceptance? I do hope that this isn’t the case with Porsha and Kordell,Stewart.  In the event that it is, I pray that he too find the courage to live in his own skin. I believe that Jason Collins has opened the door for other gay men that are struggling with the fear of coming out and disclosing their sexual preference. It’s only in our personal truth that we find healing and comfort.  We have to stop pointing fingers when we encounter what is unnatural for us.  We are all brothers and sisters and we need to support one another accordingly. Life is difficult enough without having to be what we aren’t.  I’ll continue to bring stories like this to you throughout this relationship series.  Later this month I’ll be interviewing author, B Styliz Ortiz (www.bstylizortiz.com), who wrote the book, “Pretty Boy with the House in Virginia”.  We will be uncovering his personal experiences with stories just like these; stories that involve men that are in heterosexual relationships but are secretly (unknowingly to their spouses) homosexual.  We’ll be discussing the dangers that some of these relationships can involve; the hurt and rejection that they can cause and how some folks end up being exposed to or even contracting HIV-(the “House in Virginia”).  This series is going to be an awesome journey of eye-opening knowledge.  Let’s Go!
 

Much Luv,

Introducing My Spring Relationship Series Kick-Off

 

I'm so excited to launch my new relationship series!  My spring relationship series will include a little bit of everything for everyone.  I've been studying some of the most intense relationships over the past year (including my own failed attempt), and some of what I've learned has been shocking!!! My firmest and most concrete understanding of all that I’ve learned is this: God is Love! He wants what is best for each of us in every single situation and it’s really just that simple.  When something doesn’t feel right instinctually, 9 out of 10 God isn’t involved in it at all. Our culture has seemingly fallen asleep and in its slumber has found ways to shut out God’s Love and even worse to ignore it.  I’ve discovered that for most people it’s easier to fall victim to our more natural sinful nature then to put in the hard work and effort that it takes to do what’s right. Building character submerged in integrity in a world that’s built on lies isn’t always an easy feat. Across the board I’m finding that relationships that are built on the Word of God, in Honor, in Truth, in Commitment, in Loyalty and in Love are the ones that have the most endurance and the greatest chance of survival.  All relationships in general require an unbelievable amount of physical and mental patience and perseverance.  Living with and adjusting to your mate’s personality, beliefs, customs and character traits, won’t be easy all of the time.  It would be impossible for anyone to think that marriage is some sort of constant joy ride on the back of a truck filled with haystacks.  It’s not!  The couples that learn to lean on God’s understanding versus their own understanding will always have an advantage to overcome the adversity of normal bickering.

 These couples are enlightened with the knowledge to understand that only God’s unfailing Love can sustain their union. A minister from California, Patricia Ashley, puts it this way, “God Loves your mate more than you do”. “God will work it out.” These principles can apply to singles that are looking for love as well.   Singles need to be aware that even in times of loneliness, despair, and struggle; God is preparing someone special to love, care and to protect your heart.  With careful observation these are some of the conclusions that I’ve come to but it’s taken me some time. For some additional guidance with this I advise both men and women to read Ephesians 5 in the Bible, which offers a spiritual guide to relationships. I found additional support for healthy relationships in the Book of Titus.   What I think you’ll find most interesting is the wealth of information that I’ve collected on a whole for this series.  I had to have conversations that were extremely uncomfortable, listen to music that makes me cringe and really try to get to the root of what is tearing us away from finding spiritual long-lasting Love in a very cold and evil world.  Instagram, Reality Television, Facebook, Online-Dating sites, Over-zealous rappers (degrading women in every sense of the word), Women compromising their morals with jobs that are defiling, are just some of the outlets to name a few that are actively working against our favor. Let’s take this journey together so that I can fully dissect everything that I encountered carefully.  I ‘m hoping that once we get through the mud we can start working on the solutions to some of what I see as being our biggest issues in a divorce centered culture. Spring is a season of cleansing and renewal and I've always felt that way.  I hope that by bringing some of these issues to the forefront we can move forward in positive unison.

Our culture is still harboring harsh opinions about homosexuality. I've discovered how this is backfiring and spilling over into some of our seemingly heterosexual relationships. Men that are uncomfortable with fully coming out of the closet are actually getting involved with heterosexual women and in some instances even marrying and having babies with these women. This down-low lifestyle is being used as a means to cover-up their gay reality and is a major contributing factor in spreading STI's.  This month I'll be interviewing Author B. Styliz Ortiz who wrote the book, "Pretty Boy With The House in Virginia".  This writer from Brooklyn, speaks candidly in his book about struggling with HIV and the dangers of promiscuity. B. Styliz Ortiz also has a blogsite that you can read on wordpress, at: http://prettyboywithhiv.wordpress.com. Before ever learning of B's story on Twitter I was learning much of this little dirty secret world from my own friends and it was quite shocking to me! Awareness is my biggest, biggest goal for Summer 2013 and I can't emphasize that enough.  The culture that we live in today focuses so much on oneness and independence that it's easy to lose sight on the importance of Love and interdependence in the midst of it all. Singer Pink has this great song out now featuring Nate Ruess called, "Just Give Me a Reason", and it offers so much hope for couples that have hit that ugly brick wall that seems so impossible to climb over.  This is the Hope that so many of us have lost in our loves and this season I pray earnestly that we get it back! Every relationship isn't meant to be left flat or to just walk away from.  Some relationships are truly Blessings from God that we just have to work through a tiny bit.  When the name of another person is written on your heart, why just walk away?   We can learn to love again if we just realize that, "We're not broken, just bent".  I'm so optimistic this season and I so want to be here every step of the way to answer your questions and to offer you the best possible advice I can.  
I promise in the midst of this series I will post a live video message for my readers.  I'll check to see where we're at with the series and you'll get a little inside view of my life as a writer.  I'm excited to begin this journey with you!  I decided to start the series with, "After The Booty Call", which is already posted.  I want to bring light to the darkest areas first so that we can shift into the light of healthy love.  I'm excited!!!

Let's Talk About It...

Much Luv,

After The Booty Call

This Spring I’d like to kick off a new relationship series.  I want to touch upon the good, the bad, and whatever else is in between.  It’s been a while since I’ve done this and my intuition tells me that now is the time.  Many readers have been here since I've started this crazy journey that I call my life nearly 3 years ago.  For that I'm humbly grateful and I have to truly send all of you my sincerest thanks. I've been very open with these pages and that will never change about me.  Through my ups and my downs, my highs and my lows, you have been here and that amazes me.  It's been an uphill battle filled with lots of growing pains, lots of tears, lots of shame and learning, yet lots of joy & plenty of God's Love. The positive feedback that I receive from the majority of you is what always keeps me coming back. I’d like to give way to this new series and extend my hand to those that need it the most. What I want all of you to know before we begin is that any relationship that isn’t deeply rooted in the Love of God is destined for disaster.  For my Ladies, this Spring I want to encourage you to have standards, set limits and know your boundaries.  Even more so, I want to encourage you to have high standards; the type of standards that demand a man’s respect and don’t give way to the social media traps that society has set us up for. Fellas, I challenge you to find that amazing woman that makes you want to give her your absolute best!  A Lady that makes giving her your best the most amazing feeling ever! I'm gonna dig really deep with this one.  Some of the content will be uncomfortable but we'll work through it together.  Enjoy…

I decided to write this post in an attempt to reach out to my young sisters.  Not insinuating that my older sisters aren’t still struggling with this one but I realize its way harder to teach an old dog new tricks.  Let me start out by saying that my booty call days are long behind me.  When God’s Grace touches the heart of a woman there’s an amazing transformation that begins to take place.  Sinful nature is avoided at all costs and God’s Love replaces self-hatred.  Situations that I would have compromised my soul for are no longer nor will they ever be options for my life.  I had a vision earlier today and I remembered my own booty call days and the emptiness that always followed immediately after.  There was definitely instant gratification that came from being in the company of and held by a man for one-night, a few weeks or in some instances a few months but the scars of emptiness left behind with these temporary relationships was never worth the pain.  Thinking back I can remember waiting anxiously for that after phone call or text message. Just something to wash away the shame and feeling of guilt that lingered that following day.  Realizing that I was sleeping with someone that refused to make a monogamous commitment to me as if I was on probation and they had to observe if I was worth the price.  Looking back I wish I had just one positively strong female in my life that would have said, “Baby, you are not a loaner vehicle to be driven around until this man decides if he wants to keep you or not”.

Being a writer gives me the opportunity to speak to so many women from so many different backgrounds. I get to hear their perspective of what a booty call is to them. It saddens me that across the board many women often try to sell me on the convenience of these short-term rendezvous.  “It’s convenient for me because I’m not looking for anything serious at this time.” is what I hear the most.   My thoughts are always like, “Huh, what in the hell is convenient about letting a man into your personal space, to defile your body, and then leave you emotionally malnourished with inconsistent communication, which often times is initiated at his leisure?”  My last booty call was the worse and was the “eye-opener”, or so to speak for me.  The young man was very much my junior in age and he had this youthful spontaneous energy that one just doesn’t have when one is a responsible adult holding down a home, a car, bills and most importantly children.  I admired his carefree way of being and his ability to completely abandon any emotional attachment to our situation.  On one particular evening we broke the entire frame of my bed and I remember thinking, “This is ridiculous, and this needs to end”.  This was the type of intimate and physical relationship that I’d want to have with my future husband not a man that’s leaving me completely unsatisfied emotionally when he walks out the door.

Why would I compromise my standards?  Why was I ok with doing what everyone else around me was doing? Women tend to be nurturing and caring beings by birthright.  We’ll see one of our best girlfriend’s about to hit a brick wall and instead of slapping her with a dose of tough love reality we’ll play the devil’s advocate and say things like, “Girl, you have that young man sprung”, or even more dreadful, “Girl you still got it!”  To make matters even worse, we’ll pick-up the phone shortly after and tell another girlfriend how stupid we think the first girlfriend is.  Foolish encouraging words of self-destruction circulate around our friendships that aren’t submerged in truth.  Thankfully, I’ve learned to become my own best-friend in these instances and I found a lovely 25 year-old young lady to introduce to that particular young man.  I removed myself completely from the situation because in addition to selling myself out, I was also defiling my temple; the beautiful body that God has given me to share with a man that I’m fully committed to in God’s image of Love. The Bible sums it up very nicely in 2 Timothy 2:22 “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love and peace.

In this new age of Instagram and Facebook, I see how easy social media steers my young sisters toward soul-selling.  We take pictures of our every movement throughout the course of our day and in most instances we get feedback from men that are attracted to the physical assets we readily put on display.  How many, “likes” a young woman gets in an hour begins to become her validation of self.  How many men will want to link up with her based solely on her publically displayed sex appeal, image (or lack thereof), and the idea that her Instagram Love doesn’t cost a damn thing. This is where some of the most un-meaningful relationships will begin. We have set new lows for women in our society; talk of God and of the church becomes that of the radical Christian that no one wants to be associated with.  It’s way easier to do what everyone else is doing and continue selling out the one person that you need to rely on the most...yourself. One young lady in her late 20’s recently told me that her boyfriend, (whom she met on Instagram) actually “deserved” some sex from her after sending her flowers multiple times and taking her out on occasion. This is the mentally that we buy into when we refuse to pull out our pencil and paper and really reevaluate what our relationship goals are. In a society that is ravaged with the virus HIV how we’re not asking for a person status at the top of our goal list is simply absurd to me.

If the long-term goal is marriage or let’s say that the short-term goal is simply a committed relationship then I can promise you booty calls are not going to bring you any closer to either of the two.  Having sexual intercourse with a man is like allowing him an up-close and personal communion with your soul. Spirit to spirit contact is what leaves a woman feeling so empty after a booty call encounter.  The emptiness comes from the intertwinement of the two souls. We’re spiritual beings before anything else. Young men have become so desensitized to sex with young women that many times there is zero regard for any type of on-going communication after the initial encounter unless of course, it involves more sex. My analogy for this is just a sleeping subconscious that allows both parties to forget the true nature of what we were created as humans to do.  We were created to love one another. The sleepy state-of-mind that many of us are in prevents us from igniting that flame of God that lives right inside of our inner core.  I really need to start paving the pavement more often. I need to come up with a questionnaire for young couples that are participating in these non-contractual and dangerous sexcapades.  They’re unhealthy, unsafe, and in many cases they’re the root to why many of us have so many trust issues to begin with.

Finally, if you find yourself wondering what the next step is after the booty call. Then my advice to you would be to take matters into your own hands and make the next step. Ask God for the guidance that only he can offer and tell the young man that you’re involved with that you mistakenly lowered your standards but that moving forward you won’t be able to continue on that road.  You may have to simply sacrifice having anything with him altogether but I promise you that in the long-run nothing will feel better than having respect for yourself.  Let’s start spring off with the fresh renewal of Life that it represents.  Keep God’s Love first and you’ll always remember that His Love is all you need.  In times of loneliness, trust, lean on and talk to Him.  Remember that God wants you to have all the wonderful things that this life has to offer.  That includes a loving Husband to “protect”, “provide” and “profess” (Steve Harvey’s 3 P’s theory), his love for you. 

Wishing you colorful and passionate Love built on God’s rock this season!  I Love you all and want the absolute best for each and every one of you.  Let’s move toward love, marriage, family and stability. Let’s refrain from participating in booty calls. A season of building up versus spreading apart and tearing down!  Let's go Ladies...R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

Much Luv,

222 And Me

For at least 5 years now, I can trace the trailing of the number 222 in my life. As peculiar as it may sound at first, this number has a way of following me.  I see it at the most random times on some of the most random things.  Often times, it’s the time on a digital clock or on my cell phone, but it’s also been the price that I pay for a particular item at a store, an address, the numbers on a license plate or as seen in the picture above, the time to return on a parking meter ticket.  It’s a number that speaks to me so much so that I mentioned it to my Aunt one day. I was trying to figure out if there was any type of family linage to the number.  I thought I came close, when I realized that both my cousin and my grandfather died on the 2^nd day of a month but more recently I came up with a much better understanding. I was blessed when a friend was honest in sharing his similar peculiar occurrences with the number 444. He did some internet research and came up with a way better explanation than I had for my number sequence.  I’ve always associated numbers with the Bible and therefore numbers have a very spiritual significance to me.  So when my friend mentioned that he had discovered that 444 was actually his Angel Number I was profoundly intrigued.  He directed me to a blog that he discovered in connection with his number sequence. I was able to read all about the significance of his numbers and how they apply to his life.  I decided to delve further and investigate my own number and I plugged in 222 to the site search engine.  222, has felt like it belongs to me since it has been with me.  I have a personal attachment that I am unable to quite explain with words to this number.  When something personal is going on in my life and I see those three 2’s pop up, I know that there’s something I should or shouldn’t do.  Almost as if the numbers are trying to tell me something or even possibly confirm or deny something.  If this has ever happened to you then please continue reading because you too may discover the meaning of a number sequence in your life.

The blog I was led to belongs to a woman by the name of Joanne.  The site, called Joanne’s Sacred Scribes can be found right here on Blogspot at: www.sacredscribesangelnumbers.blogspot.com. From the moment I logged onto her blog to read about my friend’s numbers I knew there was something very legitimately spiritual about the explanation in bold print before my eyes.  Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t relate to his numbers but as I continued to read I was very eager to see how my own numbers would be defined. I had previously heard of spirit guides and I believe very much in guardian angels so the text was nothing that I struggled with on a spiritual level.  Realistically, I would imagine that the Loving God that I serve “appoints” a guide or an angel to protect me and to help me along on my journey.  Life is difficult in so many ways and many times we don’t know which way to turn when we are faced with one particular situation or another.  What I didn’t realize was that these guardian angels and/or spiritual guides could reach us in such a prominent way with such purposeful intent.   Joanne’s detailed explanations immediately reminded me of the prophet Daniel in the Bible.  In the Book of Daniel, he was often called upon to interpret visions and dreams for King Nebuchadnezzar. He was able to do so in such a detailed way that none of the fortune tellers, astrologers or magicians could do.  Joanne’s writing in all of its simplicity seemed to be deeply rooted and touched by God. I was in awe as I read how precise her explanation of my number sequence seemed in parallel to all areas of my life.

In this past year I’ve learned so much about the power of prayer.  I’ve also learned so much about the power of believing in those prayers.  Most people lose their belief in their petitions before God can ever answer them.  I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t pray with the type of fervor that the Bible speaks of. That type of fervor that gets answers from God and waits on guidance from the Holy Spirit. When we listen to God’s Word; God listens to our petitions in return.  The Book of 1 John 3:22 says this regarding prayer, (NLT), “²² And we will receive from Him whatever we ask because we obey Him and do the things that please Him”. There’s a dual partnership between the petitioner and God in regard to prayer.  One that requires the petitioner to uphold the Word of God and to walk in a way that is pleasing to our Heavenly Father. What stood out most to me when I read Joanne’s blog was her mention that my petitions were being heard yet patience was being required on my behalf by my Angels.  That was so deep for me and something I very much needed to hear as I continue to grow in my relationship of Faith and Hope with God.  I often pray for things with haste and when I don’t see a quick remedy I move on and start praying for something else.  I completely let go of the importance of the original petition and that’s why hence it’s never answered. To read that my petitions were being heard was so awesome to me.  The life that I have imagined for myself as a successful writer has never withered.  Writing from my heart motivated by the Spirit of God that lives inside of me has always been my hope. I’ve never doubted that he hears me yet reading it bought about additional reassurance that felt really good.

Bold light, and a life directed by God’s Grace, is what many of us are searching and longing for.  My biggest desire through my work and my writing is to please God.  There is nothing more important to me during my journey here...nothing.  I want to encourage, uplift and motivate my readers to live their best lives!  I want to be of service to each of you, yet I need my Creator to look down and to be pleased.  Many people are surprised when I tell them that I’m born in the 7^th month, of 1977, and that the numbers of the day in which I was born the 25^th, equal 7 if added like this, (2 + 5 =7).  I’ve heard people say the number 7777, will equal great miracles in a person’s life.  I intend to do my part and be adherent those miracles.  At this very moment without anything concrete to support my theory, I know that my writing and the words of The B.C. Chronicles will extend throughout the world.  I know that children will be touched by my work although I am not exactly sure how. A day will come when I will pass out colorful writing journals and pens to small children. I will encourage them to write whatever comes to their innocent minds.  They can write about their best day at school or at home, their favorite teacher or pet or about what they want to be when they grow up. My motivation will be that they never stop writing.   The free-spirits of this world need encouragement to share their talents. I believe the world is truly a better place with those unique and talented individuals that may not have always fit in, made friends easily, or that were never really accepted by the majority.  To know that each of us have Angels in our corner that want us to succeed, to be fruitful and that want to help guide us keenly from the spiritual realm is awesome!

If only one of my readers connect with this post and get to find the meaning of a number sequence that has been following them; I will be immensely happy!  When we share our truth with one another we grow as human beings.  For some, this concept will be difficult to grasp because it doesn’t fall under the school of logic.  I never did too well in that school J

Wishing you Blessings, Love, Hope and Peace as always; God Bless you all.

Much Luv,

The Power of Love

In order for one to write about the sweetness of Love, one has to truly believe in the power of it. The Power of Love is magnetic and I believe in it strongly! The Bible explains it this way in 1 Corinthians 13:13, “Three things will last forever-faith, hope and love-and the greatest of these is love”.  There’s an electricity that one feels instantaneously the moment that their feelings of love or attraction are reciprocated by the one that they want in return.  That’s the Power of Love. The Bible goes on to explain that, “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” 1 Corinthians 13:7.  Wouldn’t it be so sweet if marriages in America were built on this verse? There is something so powerful in the word endurance.  “Permanence” and “duration” are some of the words that Webster’s Dictionary uses to define endurance. Imagine if we lived in a world where people would fight for their Love instead of against one another. I think the Power of Love directly coincides with the Power of Forgiveness. I pray that my next encounter with love will be my last. I promise to Love, Honor and Cherish every moment of it. I’m excited for it even though it hasn’t happened.  That’s the Power of Hope. In the interim, I practice faithfully loving God. Our relationship has gotten so much deeper than ever before.  Waking up daily for prayer, and morning devotionals have helped me to delve into a much better understanding of how our Heavenly Creator operates.  God is Love and all he wants from his children is love in return.

My time spent with God has made me realize my dependency on His love.  Similar to being in a relationship with a man, parent or with one of my children I never want to be without God’s Love.  When a single or a married person takes the time to firmly root their relationship with God; that borne fruit can be counterproductive in one’s other relationships.  This is where the Grace of God takes us.  Isn’t the concept simply magnificent?  I think it is.  I’ve totally conditioned myself to understand that without my Creator’s Love in my life I will fail miserably at trying to extend my Love to a life partner or to anyone else for that matter.  Patience and Love completely coincide.  I’ve learned through years of impatience how important it is to actually have patience.  When entering a relationship with a patient ear you can listen even more intently. One of my biggest weaknesses is my inability to listen effectively; people that talk a great deal typically suffer with this as well.   I walked away from my last relationship not knowing anything of real significance about the person that I thought I wanted to marry.  Other than reading about his personality in the results of a popular on-line exam; I didn’t know anything concrete, significant or really personal about him.  Ultimately, I walked away feeling empty and very embarrassed by that.  With every experience we have the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and to do better in the future.

The Power of Love will defy any human odds over the outcome. The Bible says this in Mark 10:9, “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate”.  By couples taking the time out to really listen to one another; they have a strong chance of avoiding any miscommunication that could later lead to hard feelings.  Defining the relationship constantly is also key.  If you have questions for your significant other just ask them.  Within the first year of marriage or any serious new relationship I would advise the couple to hibernate.  During this hibernation period the couple should have the opportunity to acclimate to one another’s needs, wants, ideas and desires for their relationship. The Power of their Love will have a real chance to flourish because outside influences will be kept at bay. Having the chance to figure out what they both want without the judgment, advice or opinions of friends and family members can create a strong foundation between the couple.  By no means, am I suggesting cutting friends and family off during this time.  We all wear different hats with our relatives and friends than we do in our relationship. If someone you’re considering getting deeply involved with says to you, “My mother is my best friend”. I would have to question where do you fit into that relationship.  Is there even room for you to be a part of that friendship? We have a responsibility to actively hear what people say when they say it, and even more importantly to accept it rather than to think that we can change it later on down the line.  We can’t just fill-in the missing blanks or make things up as we go along. We can’t interpret things the way we “think” they should be or make assumptions on our partners’ behalf.  For example, I couldn’t expect that person to ever make me his best friend if he was acknowledging that the position was already filled.  Now had he said something more hopeful to me like, “My Mother is my best friend yet I would love for the woman in my life to eventually fill that space?”  I might have visualized the statement with an idea that implicated a long-term commitment. As I mentioned earlier, the Love seed needs to be watered constantly in order to grow.

In conclusion, with long-temperance and a still spirit we can learn to be way more accepting of everything that God gives us. That includes the good, the bad, and the ugly. In God’s time, He will introduce you to the one that he has handpicked, reared and guided directly to you and for you.  That blissful moment will be impactful and your intuition will awaken you to realize that you don’t want to spend another living day without that special person. Embrace, give thanks and cherish every single moment of your Love for the Blessing that it is.  Always believing and knowing that its powerful force will never die when it’s true.  Come rain or shine the two of you will grow closer and closer to one another with each passing day.  Love holds no records and if you focus on planning your marriage versus your wedding day things will always remain solid.  Relationships are easy to walk away from but very hard to endure.  The person that God has picked for you will never walk away from you.  They will be tested with temptation as we all are but they will never find it easier to take refuge in another because you will mean that much to them.  Doesn’t that sound sweet? J

I’m praying that the renewal of spring 2013 brings fresh and fragrant Love to each of your lives; May God Bless You all.

Much Luv,

So Many Failed Attempts

Someone asked me the other day, “BC, how’s your relationship with your Dad?”  I felt this immediate sadness come over me as I carefully thought of my answer. Before I could speak it, my heart was warmed with the feeling of holding his strong hands.  “Pops” has always meant the world to me.  My protector, my provider and the first man I ever loved and trusted.  How could it be that so many years have gone by without us speaking or writing one another?  Déjà vu flooded my mind, as I remembered Pops and I going to visit his father in the hospital while he was on his death bed.  Pops didn’t want him to die and he had not made peace with him in this life.  All I could remember him saying was that they never got along.  Pops and I on the other hand were like two peas in a pod. We were both Leo’s (me in July him in August), we were both the center of attention in our worlds and I could never imagine us being inseparable.  How someone could be asking me about him in 2013 and I not have something positive to say like, “My relationship with my Dad is perfect!” “My Father is so proud of the woman that I have become.” I thought, “Oh Heavenly Father, what have I done? How in the world could I be so cold to the one man that has always given me the softest part of his heart?  I imagined my sit down in Heaven with Jesus Christ.  I could see Jesus saying, “My child you were told to Honor your mother and father”.  What a disappointing response I would have to offer.  “I haven’t spoken to my Dad in years?”; “Oh My God, Why BC?” the next question.  To avoid further embarrassing myself I just said, “We had a fallen out”.  The actual answer should have been, “I didn’t get my way, and I stopped contacting him”. 

What an evil person I must be to do such a thing. My father told me, “No”, at the one time in my life that I needed a, “Yes”.  My father never knew what I was going through behind the scenes because I’m very careful at protecting the feelings of the people that I care about the most. I was facing rejection and heartache by my youngest child’s father like I had never experienced thus far in life.  Had I been younger and hurt I would have just run to my Dad.  He would have picked me up and carried me to comfort like he always did.  God Blessed me immensely with the father that he chose for me.  I can’t tell you how accident prone I was as a child (I’m still an accident prone adult as well).  Pops was just always there.  He bandaged my cuts and bruises, pulled my hair away from my face when I had to vomit and always, always, always tucked me in at night with the big kisses that only he could provide. The scent of his Jovan Musk is something that I will die with embedded in my senses. How could I expect him to know that I was hurt or that I needed him if I wasn’t willing to share what I was going through at the time?  Pops had other children and they shared everything with him.  I being an isolated only child didn’t really understand how to do that.  My fondest memory of him is that he never stopped listening to me.  Anyone that knows a writer, knows that we talk about everything and we can go on and on with great detail.  We can captivate a moment with our words and make you feel like you were there. His long fingers and 6’2”, stature always made me feel safe.  My dad would have gone to the ends of the earth for me.  My biggest fear in life is that the next time I lay eyes on him will be the same way it was when we went to that hospital to see his Dad; “Father God, why is life so immensely complicated?”

I looked for my Dad in every relationship that I ever had. One failed attempt after another, and I don’t know if I should be happy or embarrassed to say that no one quite measured up to him.  My Dad is that awesome!  A hands-on man that can paint, cook, clean, fix things, care and provide for his children and still manage to extend his hand to others.  They don’t make them like him anymore.  I always knew that he would walk me down the aisle when I got married.  I also knew that he would have, “the talk”, with whomever I married.  I knew that my Father was not pleased that I had children out of wedlock, yet and still he supported me regardless.  My Father believed in my ability when I stopped believing in myself.  I’m what you call flighty.  When the going gets tough I run to avoid life’s issues.  I’ve hurt my father many times by this.  Never opening up and never being able to truly lean on him the way I did as a child.  They say the way to a person’s heart is food.  My Father always made it his business to feed me and to feed me well.  Holding my hand, listening to me, explaining how important the Chicago Bulls and Michael Jordan were are things that my Pops did for me. I can think back to a particular summer day when my sweet tooth was fully charged.  I ate so much junk that day and my Dad said, “Bobbi, you are going to get sick”, but like a glutton I just kept going.  My Dad had a waterbed back then and when I finally settled down to watch TV…oh my, was I sick and I mean really sick.  My Dad took care of me without ever feeling the need to say, “I told you so”, and that is the type of relationship I’ve searched for as an adult.

I did come close.  I know that for certain.  In my relationship with Citrus, I can honestly say that even his voice reminded me of my father in his younger days.  His character, long fingers, love of basketball and stature were also a huge contribution.  Failed attempts at Love are like tripping and falling in the street.  It’s painful, but it’s also terribly embarrassing.  Unfailing Love is so hard to come by in a world that is cultivated by logic.  There is no space for logic in love.  The most analytical thinkers will still only feel love with their heart muscles. Love is simply a feeling, but it’s everything.  Love needs more love to grow, the way a plant needs water.  Every attempt at love isn’t going to be successful attempt and that’s why it’s an attempt. It’s very important to walk away from each attempt with more wisdom than you walked in with to begin with. Love can be so bittersweet at times.  Love is the most special and intimate feeling we can have here on earth. The best advice that I can offer my readers on failed attempts at Love is consciousness.  Many fall into the trap of wanting to fill the void of being alone. Take the, “lonely time”, to study what you could have done better, what you’ve learned and more importantly what you want for the future.  Always live in the moment and acknowledge every sensation of your pain. It’s ok to be hurt because hurt feelings are an affirmation that you loved hard.

I believe in loving hard and I also believe that love holds no records.  Wronged doings will always be forgiven in a love that’s for you.  Love never gives up.  It’s enduring, unfailing and absolutely unending.  Love is sweet, and it’s so very kind.  It’s gentle, humble, righteous and unconditional. My Father taught me that.  Even in my wrongs, his Love never faltered or died. I walked away from my Father’s love and I will have to live with that for a lifetime.  Has anyone ever asked you what your relationship with your Father was like ladies? Fellas, how is your relationship with your Mom?  The answer to these questions will be a major contributing factor as far as what you will and won’t accept in a relationship.  I want you to also keep firmly implanted in your mind that what and who is for you will be just that.  That is God’s Grace.  What God brings together, no man can separate. You won’t have to sell yourself or make someone see what they can’t naturally.  If for some reason, they don’t see you, then that just means it’s time for you to move onto the person that will.  You can still love them and want what is best for them yet you owe it to yourself to keep moving forward.  Often times, I long to be that small child that waited and depended on my Father for everything; as we’d cruise in his Blue Mercury, Topaz listening to Luther Vandross I knew that we would always be one in each other.  Unfortunately, today that just isn’t the truth.  Today our relationship is non-existent.  I want to be the adult-child and leave him responsible to look for me versus me having to continually find himL.  That probably isn’t going to happen and such is life. They say that a girl has to kiss many frogs before finding her true Prince Charming.  Let your heart be open and full at all times.  One person’s trash will always be another person’s treasure.  Stay strong and keep your Faith in the Lord.  God Bless You All.

Special thanks to Mrs. Beyonce Knowles-Carter. After watching her HBO Documentary, “Life is but A Dream”, I realized how fragile I too felt because of my non-existent yet quite fixable relationship with my Dad. Thank God for my Blog.  The B.C. Chronicles is where I talk out loud. When I don’t have answers I still find refuge here on these pages that belong to me.  

Much Luv,