Friday, May 3, 2013

When It All Goes Left

It's pretty rare that a Hollywood story grabs my attention the way that the Kordell Stewart “divorce-filing scandal”, from his seemingly lovely wife Porsha D. Stewart has. I typically leave this type of blogging to the Hollywood Gossip Blogger's because there are more than enough of these types of stories published around the world. This touched my heart though because there is something so innocently genuine about Mrs. Porsha. I definitely had to offer my commentary on this one. Since the top of 2013, I've been taking some time out to focus spiritually and I’ve been on a television fast. I honestly missed the majority of the Atlanta Housewives 5th Season on Bravo. I did by far see enough interaction between Mr. Stewart and his wife to develop an opinion of the pair’s union. I think it's important to say that I think Kordell is a really good guy.  I think he has very traditional values in regard to what the role of being a good wife consists of.  The world of reality TV is still somewhat of a blunder for me. I enjoy it at times but my approach to it is simple, detox entertainment when I'm looking to just kick my feet up on the sofa and relax. On the flipside, I have found that it can be infectiously poisonous to our generation. I've even noticed that there are groups/clubs of women watching the shows together and in some ways mocking the lifestyles of the characters. Living beyond our means and failing to appreciate where we are currently at in our lives can be dangerous. Porsha Stewart touched me differently than any of the other characters that I've seen thus far on any of the current shows out. Porsha never took me as anything other than what the show title indicates that it represents an, "Atlanta Housewife". She was Southern, well-poised, polite, filled with class, with just enough feistiness in her to let you know that she's nobody's punk. This young woman has natural innocence to her that I rarely see today. She also displays and earnestness to be a great wife and a step-mom to Kordell’s child.  I really like that! Whether burning food in the kitchen or trying to coordinate matching outfits for a night out with her hubby, Mrs. Porsha always puts in what seems like extreme effort for her man.

The first time I observed Kordell with his wife I remember sensing or slightly thinking that there was some level of insecurity exhibited on his behalf. Having a flawlessly beautiful wife has to be a difficult endeavor for any man. It was one of the early episodes when she was having a fundraiser for her Grandfather's foundation and she introduces Kenya Moore as Miss America versus Miss USA. He kissed his wife sweetly and seemed really enamored by her. That event if everyone remembers was ladies only. A red flag went up immediately with the thought of that concept because the fundraiser would have grossed more revenue had it been co-ed. Why would a husband encourage his wife to have a female-only event? He even made a comment like, “That’s how I like it”. Control issues, low self-esteem and things of that nature crossed my mind but he still just seemed very sweet to me. Controlling men are often difficult to read. They are the men that believe that women have a traditional role to stay in the home and to be the sole caregivers to their children. In a world filled with strong women leaders that are caring for children and still pursuing their own passions Kordell's outlook was a bit much for viewers. It came across as old-school/out-dated. What I think we also got to witness as viewers was that Porsha may not have known exactly how deeply-rooted his traditional beliefs were until she stepped onto the RHOA platform. To be fair, the couple has only been married just shy of two years and there is a significant age difference of nearly 10 years between the two. There's a very interesting twist to this story though and I think it's one that we will find more and more talked about in our culture. Before I could finish writing this post I had to reach out to my cousin Mark. He is the Biggest and I mean the Biggest Pittsburg Steelers Fan that I know! Here's where it all goes left...

In 1997, Kordell Stewart called a meeting with his at the time teammates to address rumors that were beginning to surface that the star quarterback might be gay. Kordell was seen frequenting a local park during that time that was known as a local hangout for gay men. I started to wonder if Kordell was really just suffering miserably in his marriage because he was suppressing his natural desire for men. By no means am I suggesting that he didn’t just file for divorce because he didn’t like the direction that his spouse was moving with the show.  Porsha Stewart found out that her husband filed for divorce via Twitter and I thought that was such a low-blow. Living in the same home he never had the audacity to have the discussion with his wife personally. I asked my cousin Mark, “What were your feelings when the stories began circulating that the star quarterback might be gay?” His response was quite simple and just his own honest opinion.  I decided to continue writing this article because a light bulb of curiosity went off in my head. This Monday April 29, 2013, NBA player Jason Collins became the 1st athlete in the association to announce that he is openly and actively gay.  I thought, “BINGO!” The story broke just 3 days after I started writing this post and I thought, “Wow, what a coincidence”.  I watched video interviews on the internet with Jason’s ex-fiancée who spent 8 years of her life devoted to him. A compellingly understanding woman, Carolyn Moos stated that she didn’t have the slightest idea that Jason was gay. She went on to say that society needs to take a look at how it treats people and players. She points out the lack of support society offers when it comes to homosexuality. Commendably, she went on to say that she is happy for Jason and that he in turn deserves happiness. 

Luckily, Jason has received an outpour of support from the media, his team members, family and friends including unexpected support and encouragement from President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama. Carolyn was deeply saddened in 2009 when Jason unexpectedly called off their engagement.  A hurt that she reports she is still struggling with till this day.  What is happening in the world that we live in?  Have we become so disgustingly judgmental that gay men feel like they have to hide within the walls of heterosexual marriage? Is this the only way they feel like they will be accepted? How many children are being born into homes with gay fathers that are pretending to be straight for the sake of acceptance? I do hope that this isn’t the case with Porsha and Kordell,Stewart.  In the event that it is, I pray that he too find the courage to live in his own skin. I believe that Jason Collins has opened the door for other gay men that are struggling with the fear of coming out and disclosing their sexual preference. It’s only in our personal truth that we find healing and comfort.  We have to stop pointing fingers when we encounter what is unnatural for us.  We are all brothers and sisters and we need to support one another accordingly. Life is difficult enough without having to be what we aren’t.  I’ll continue to bring stories like this to you throughout this relationship series.  Later this month I’ll be interviewing author, B Styliz Ortiz (, who wrote the book, “Pretty Boy with the House in Virginia”.  We will be uncovering his personal experiences with stories just like these; stories that involve men that are in heterosexual relationships but are secretly (unknowingly to their spouses) homosexual.  We’ll be discussing the dangers that some of these relationships can involve; the hurt and rejection that they can cause and how some folks end up being exposed to or even contracting HIV-(the “House in Virginia”).  This series is going to be an awesome journey of eye-opening knowledge.  Let’s Go!

Much Luv,

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