When the Sun Sets

For the past few weeks I've been looking death directly in the face. It's sort of been in the air. I've watched families mourn, children lose their parents, mother's lose their children and needless to say it's been sad. Death leaves an eerie feeling on the souls that are still living because we begin to truly conceptualize that our lives replicate that of an hour glass. No one wants to forget that the present is a gift and as hard as one tries to remain peaceful in nature, kiss the kids before they walk out the door, and spread love at all times, in all actuality we're only human. As humans we carry the weight of the world and that's a heavy burden to bear. I constantly have to remind myself the importance of living in the now. Especially, when I find myself outlining a plan for two or three years down the line. I might not be afforded that much more time here. This idea of "Living everyday like it's your last", is pretty easy to understand yet it's often difficult to execute because who really wants to die? I don't want to die. Does that mean I want to live forever? Not exactly, I'd actually settle for old age :-). I believe in the "Bucket List", and I think that all of us should be clear not only on what we want from this life experience but also what we would like to do before we make our grand exit. My writing will remain in the world when I'm gone and for those that know me and even for those that don't a sense of who I was will always remain on these pages. My writing has enabled me to leave my imprint in the world that I enjoyed living in immensely. I'm extremely satisfied with that. It brings me great peace. Traveling to Europe would be at the top of my bucket list for a few reasons. One has to travel the world to really grasp the journey and even more so to appreciate it. To have the full experience of life one has to leave their comfort zone and submerge in different culture. The world looks different to us all.

Knowing that life is a blessing makes it easy for us to appreciate family and friends in the same light. Knowing that each day is a precious gift should motivate us to shape our lives and push harder toward our goals. The idea of putting things off until tomorrow should be removed from our thought process. Life is inevitably what we make it and we grow up learning this to a certain extent but never in its entirety. Girls grow up looking forward to fairytale weddings, while Boys grow up wanting to be an All-Star. The message that often isn't clear is how important it is to just Live and Love. Living will have a different meaning for each individual person. What living is to me most certainly won't be what living is to you. The common ground is doing everything you want to do here in an unstoppable manner. The cycle is, "When you fall, you get up", and the key to that cycle is learning to get up quickly. When it comes to a broken heart the quickest way to heal is to let go of the person who broke it quickly. The world circulates at a pace that doesn't give us too much time to lay dormant. The quicker we let go of things that cause us pain, the quicker we free ourselves and get back to our true nature. Any negativity we harbor generates itself as more negativity in our lives. When we lose a loved one along the way we often have to push harder toward attaining what we want because it becomes that much clearer that we are working on a limited timeline. We have to push through the pain of grief quickly by allowing ourselves a brief period to mourn. We can never get stuck in the mourning process because in return it would kill us. We have to bask in the memories of the person that has passed, and we have to be mindful that the sun will set for us one day as well.

Here is my advice. Live your life in a loving fashion that circulates and promotes laughter and peace in return. Never stop giving thanks when you wake up to see another day because it honestly didn't have to come. Always believe in the world that you live in even when it gets cold (even more when it gets cold). Try your very best never to hold grudges (people don't always make this easy). Always keep in mind that they are human and that are entitled to feel however they feel about you. Let them go today and wish anyone that has wronged you Love & Light and hopefully they will wish you the same in return if you have wronged them. When we allow people to hurt us continuously, we let them know that they are more important to us than we are to ourselves. Love the people that love you back and try your best never to take them for granted. Because they will always be in your corner and they will always be first up at bat for you. I Love you all and I'd like to share this story with you...

At 7:13 a.m. on September 30, 2011 I texted a friend that will never have the opportunity to text me back. What I was unaware of at the time that I sent the text was that he was shot and killed around 11:30 p.m. on September 29, 2011. He was 30 years-old at the time of death and he leaves behind two beautiful daughters, plus family & friends that will miss him dearly. I saw him 4 days before he was killed. We talked, we hugged and he said, "B, I got mad love for you". His spirit was filled with love every single time that I saw him. He never let it show when he was down on his luck. He just continued to spread love with the people in his life right up until the very end. Why did he go so early? I'll never be able to answer that question.

~In Loving Memory of Donald Rose~

Much Luv

Still Living My Dreams

So as the 1st anniversary of The B.C. Chronicles is vastly approaching (6/7/2011), I'm feeling so immensely blessed to report that I'm still living my dreams. Who knew when I started this project nearly a year ago that this is where I would be today? The plan that was never really too much of a plan or overly thought out took off running. I often take time to reflect and re-evaluate where I'm at today, and where I see myself in the next 3-5 years or so. What's most important to me going forward is that I continue to work hard at becoming a published author, which is a goal that I now fully understand is completely attainable. Writing a book is so important to me at this point in my life, and I have spent the last few months examining how I intend on executing that plan. By the grace of God the linkage that I have encountered this past year has been incredible. I have been blessed to dip my hand in writing an urban fiction novel with Jason Lanzar Rivera and my passion for writing has deepened immensely as a result. The world of fiction writing is colorfully intense because that platform allows me to paint the picture as I see it not necessarily as it happened, and the storyline can go as far as I can take it. Another place this journey has taken me is to Internet radio and I'm most definitely looking forward to delving further into this realm. Jermaine Smith A.K.A. Mr. Jay Everyday (Everyday Radio) has offered an opportunity that I am beyond grateful for. Mass communication in general wasn't something that particularly interested me in college but because journalism always was I can see a correlation. Writing for SwagHer Magazine one of my latest endeavors has been another outlet that I have enjoyed deeply. I get write about relationships and I get to speak to an audience that isn't all that familiar with BC. Ahhhhhhhhh, it's the feeling one has when everything feels so real.

I'm in a great place and I can feel it, touch it, and I can almost taste that there is more to come. What if I hadn't done it? What if I had ignored the visions that were so clear in my mind a year ago? What if I hadn't decided to step out and act on faith to pursue my passion? God blesses each one of us with individual talents and gifts that are unique and wrapped in his spirit. I thank God for this day and for the fact that I was able to connect with mine. God wants all of our dreams to come true and because we live in a world that makes all things possible I want each one of you to know that you can have it all. DEDICATION is a word that is way too under used in our culture. It's a word that eliminates quitting and failure at the door. It's a word that is related to perseverance, and it isn't related to failure in the least. Marriage seems somewhere close within my reach, and as my career expands I pray to God that I will walk in my marriage with grace. I desire to have a graceful marriage one that's built on love, yet submerged in self-control and honesty. In the meantime I acknowledge my flaws, and I am trying to work on them accordingly. Love, peace, happiness, health and success are all gifts that God wants us to have. The journey ends eventually and having someone to share the time with only makes sense. God is more merciful than any of us will ever be able to comprehend. When our hearts are weak and ready to throw in the towel God throws the towel back. Endearing...

I need each and every one of you to believe in yourself with fire. A fire that burns bright and runs deep. A fire that is fierce, and can't be easily put out with water. A fire that still burns even after its been extinguished. I was born into the fire sign (Leo), and that means I stay fully charged at all times. My dedication along with my determination to live a full life will always keep me ten steps ahead of the game. I don't stop because I know I can't. I don't let others dictate what is right or wrong for me. I live in a world filled with abundance and that means there is enough room for me and for every other dreamer that opts to catch their dreams the way I do. We are the generation of the Dreamcatchers and that was part of the reason Cashay Chanel, (Co-Host of Dreamcatcher Radio) and I chose that name for our radio show. The Dreamcatchers don't spend any of their time with the Dreamkillers because the consequences could cost us a dream. Dreams are precious visions from God that offer us a sneak peak into what potential our futures hold. Our dreams are our wishes. The birth of another project after starting my blog just makes me giddy, and I realize that anything is possible for BC. In this short period of time I've met people I used to only admire from a far like Egypt Sherrod, Radio Personality 107.5 NY (above middle), and Demetria Lucas, Relationship Editor for Essence Magazine. A year ago I couldn't even see anything like that happening. If you find yourself sitting here reading this and you've been pondering over an idea or a project I say, "Go for it!" The world needs you, and you need not deprive the world. You are a master at manifesting your own destiny and I encourage you highly to go for it! If no one around you gets it but you feel strongly about it, "Go for it!", and push hard. I recently designed a t-shirt for The B.C. Chronicles and for a split second I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this?" I quickly dismissed that thought because I knew sooner than later it would all make sense. Writing my blog, talking on Internet radio, attending relationship panels, working on a book, designing t-shirts, interviewing inspiring guests are all things I didn't see in my future a year ago. 10 people will read this post and only 1 person will need the message. This is how the power of God works through each of us.

I wish you all continued success and the ability to persevere in all of your endeavors. The world is yours when you take a step forward toward what you want. God's intention for you is to be happy and to live in peace with love embracing you as a light. When you start something follow through and be patient with it. Like any flower in a garden if you water your dreams I promise you that they will grow. Peace, Love & Blessings to you all!

Much Luv

Frequency

"I try to leave the messages here that have served me best throughout my journey." "Life is a revolving door, but that door doesn't revolve around you". ~BC~

Change the frequency whenever you can, stay postive...

I was talking to my Loki baby yesterday. She's the one I call whenever I'm really struggling with an issue because her support is undying. Judgment never comes into play within the walls of our friendship so as we discussed the issue at hand she shared something that someone in her life recently told her. The person expressed a negative vibe that they get from her when situations arise. She then said to me, "Loki we tend to have a negative view on situations we encounter." I was quiet for a minute and before responding I thought to myself, "Damn, she just hit the nail on the head!" Often times we support each other so much as friends that we get caught up in the pity party together and where we need to find balance in being positive we can often support each other in the negative. I finally responded and I said, "Loki you're absolutely right". I realized in a split second that I wallow in the negative when I feel like giving up. The one time I need to be the most positive is typically when I'm the most negative and guess what the end result always is? Because we discuss the law of attraction here all the time you already know what the end result is. My Loki baby isn't much of a philosopher, but she went on to say, "Loki we bring on the negative shortcomings in our life", and she couldn't have been more correct. I quickly decided that I needed to immediately change the frequency of how I was feeling yesterday. There was way more positive occurrences happening in my day than negative so I needed to focus on that. I returned from my writer's retreat had a new post on The B.C. Chronicles and was feeling positive as a whole to let something out of my control hurt me or make me feel physically sick. I needed to stop personalizing and even more I needed to let go of that energy quickly. What I realized as the day continue was a wakeup call I've been needing for some time now.

I am a DRAMA QUEEN with a capital "DQ". I am an emotionally reactive person that is learning with age to think before acting but at times I still impulsively speak before giving adequate thought to what I'm saying. I let the lioness roar and then I feel terrible once I calm down and I'm ready to retreat to the den. The problem with this is...The people I already have in my life have learned over time to ACCEPT my behavior. They may not exactly like the way I act yet they have accepted or come to understand me and they love me as is. As we incorporate new friends, lovers, business partners etc...into our lives they DO NOT have to accept our ways and/or our behaviors. They will take a step back when they encounter us at our worst, and they will then have to decide if they are willing, and/or able to incorporate us into their inner circle. All my daters I need you to listen closely to this one. No matter how old you are please don't think for a single second that going into a new relationship you will be able to bring all of your set ways with you. The only way a new relationship will be built concretely is if it's built on compromise. If you recognize behaviors within yourself that you need to work on then you need to be fair in letting your new significant other know. That person, then has the OPTION to choose if they want to accept you into their life. They can either decide that they are willing to meet you where you're at, and maybe help you work on your issues, or they can decide that what you bring to the table just simply won't work for them. The beauty in their decision is that although it may sting a little it belongs to them and you can't help them come to their conclusion. What I learned is that my "DQ" ways (mannerisms) don't serve me well at all, and I need to consciously work at changing them. While being a "DQ" or in full "DQ" mode I tend to personalize everything and I often hurt some of the people closet to me without that ever being my intention. When someone tells me something like, "I need time" or "I need a minute" depending on the circumstances I often only hear that the person needs a break from me because I've done something to them. Personalizing everything causes unnecessary stress, drama, sadness etc., and it's so unwarranted because typically it isn't personal. I constantly have to do a wooooosah and remind myself that I'm not living in the world according to BC. Easiest way I reach this is by letting go and letting God. Peace & Blessings to you all.

Read this rendition of the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, and let me know what you think...

God Grant Me the Serenity

to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His will;

That I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.

Much Luv

Afraid To Win

My most avid readers know that I've been gone for some time now. A writer's retreat? Possibly, but more of an intimate recap with myself. I've taken the "BC" puzzle completely apart and slowly I'm putting it back together again. An evaluation right before my one year blog writing anniversary. The vacation hasn't stopped me from writing but it has halted me from publishing. I have created blog posts over the past two months, yet for respect of my own privacy (my own diary) I have withheld from publishing to protect some of the things that have become most dear to my heart. I've turned over every stone of my past and what I have come to realize is that I have been immensely blessed & touched by the spirit of God throughout the course of my journey. God has chosen me to do great things with my life. He has ordered my steps accordingly and I have been afraid to take them. It's not easy for me to admit and/or always recognize my fears but in this case I recognize them fully. Less than a year ago I started this chronicle journey; A journey that I stepped out on faith to begin and one that would consist of my most intimate thoughts and experiences being public information to share and help others while providing therapy and release for myself.

I have been places within the last year that I could have never foreseen. The birth of a successful radio show (Dreamcatcher Radio with the amazing Cashay Chanel), new friends, business partners and continued support from those that never left. A diamond in the rough that wants desperately just to shine. My own worst critic, and I have now come to realize that I will need more structure and perseverance than I have ever needed before in order to move forward. Afraid of attaining everything that I want with a contradicting desire to have it all. Who knew it would all take off so quickly? Who knew that God would say, "The worse is over, now it's time to take your place and to live your life". How does one enjoy the sunshine when one is so conditioned to the rain? That's where I've been folks. I've been taking the puzzle apart and I've been realizing that I'm deathly afraid of being the best. I'm so used to things not working in my favor that when they do I quickly panic. I panic to the point of palpitations and I quickly sabotage the things that God has made simple for me. *sighing & taking a long deep breath* I often blow it when I don't have to. As I try desperately to live in the Now while always trying to peek ahead and take a look at my future I realize that it's time for change. What future? No one says that my future has to come. Do I know what I want for my future if it does come? Maybe, but maybe I should spend more time just living for today. I realized just yesterday that so many of my friends have died. They had to think at some point that they would live forever, but nevertheless they're gone and they're not coming back. God's mercy on my life has been unbelievable. That means that I'm obligated to make the most out of everyday without complaining. The length of my hair, the amount of cellulite in my legs, the stretch marks on my belly that beautifully bear the signs of the children I have bore are all things that will no longer exist when I leave this world. I will never look like Halle Berry and I'm finally okay with that (*smiling*). The time one spends complaining really limits how much they make of their life. It's important to re-evaluate yourself whenever you reach a crossroad that causes confusion. Love can't enter the heart when the heart is unhappy. In a split second someone in the world is overjoyed while someone else is feeling the destruction of sorrow and pain. I often find myself somewhere in the middle and very unrightfully so. How could I have so much and at times see so little? I took a trip outside of the U.S. last week. What I learned is that my country is filled with an abundance of wealth and that has helped me to reorganize my entire thought process.

I checked my Divatude away when I landed in the Dominican Republic. I wanted to fully submerse myself in the culture without being glued to my resort. The Gallo's (Roosters) were up calling at 5 a.m. every morning, and I was up and ready to start my day! I expected a little poverty and despair so I was prepared to share whatever I could. What I didn't expect was what I actually saw. On my drive into town I saw cows, and horses that looked more anorexic than a Hollywood celeb. Bones showing on an animal that wasn't sick was something I've never witnessed before in my life and I deeply took it all in. The nipples of a dog that hang down to the ground was also something I was unfamiliar with. I asked why the dogs had their nipples so low and so swollen and it was explained to me that dogs breed every three-months in DR. Something we control in the U.S. from happening. Devastation was the only word that continued to enter my mind and I silently prayed for my blessings and for my children. A strong desire to help and to touch followed me throughout the course of my day and I felt a holiness that I've never been quite so aware of. Washing my hands in a bucket, or using a toilet without a seat or tissue paper to wipe became habitual by the end of my day. I was treated with more respect and smiles than I encounter when I'm home and I hugged and smiled with people as if I knew them for a lifetime. A man named Francis graciously took me around and I told him several times throughout the day that his spirit could be compared to gold (solid & rich). When one wears the name of a Saint I think it's important to try hard to live up to example previously laid. Francis arranged a meal for my friends and I later in the evening, and I was so gracious for the invitation. Eating outside in DR meant that flies are welcomed guests at the dinner. You would be surprised how unwelcomed a fly is here in the States yet how accepted a fly is in a third world country. My trip outside of the country reconnected me with the importance of truly being humble, something I lose sight of unintentionally from time to time. None of us are better than anyone else as we are all part of humanity on the same quest for peace. Where one person is doing well, another is doing not so well and as a race we have to be sympathetic in our understanding. Some of us are just happier with what we have then others and for those of us that aren't we need to learn to be. Life is a beautiful experience in its simplicity. Live, Laugh and continue Loving as these are the things that we were placed in this world to do.

As my journey continues, so will The B.C. Chronicles. Thank you for reading xoxo.

Much Luv

What Inspires Me to Write

I can sum this post up in just one word right now. What inspires me to write is you! I thank each and every one of you that take the time to spend your time here at The B.C. Chronicles. Because I have such a deep spirit you know that I'm going to elaborate a little further and give you a real inside look as to why it is that I do what I do here on this writing platform. I heal here. When the world starts to stress me out I have an inner desire to talk back to it. The world can be cold and cruel at times but my outlet is my connection to it. My connection to the stars that line the sky. My connection to the clouds that hug the sun. This writing thing keeps me grounded in a world that attempts to kick my ass each and every single day. My writing starts way before I'm blessed enough to plant my feet on my bedroom floor each morning. Writing lingers in my soul whether I'm in or out of consciousness. Writing comes to me when I'm driving in my car, cooking a meal in my kitchen, or even when I'm in the shower bathing away the stress of my day. Once a topic crosses my mind I'm excited and driven to release it on paper quickly.

The God that dwells in me never allows me to keep what I plan to write to myself. I'm nudged feverishly over and over again until I turn my laptop on and spill the visions into a Word document. The visions haunt me in the sweetest of ways. They're not mine to keep and I'm obligated to let them go. Once I release them I feel whole again as if letting them go actually made me whole rather than having left me null and void. My cup overflows until the next story comes to mind. I find peace in writing & when I share it with you I feel satisfied.

Writing is my salvation. It's where I go to get back to what makes me happy. It's where my happiness is. Where I go to get back to the tiny piece of God in me. It's where I mediatate, rest my head and I drown out all of the sounds screaming at me from the world. It's where I tell depression to go back home and it's where anxiety cannot sustain life. It's my outlet and it's the best way I know how to express myself and I mean that so literally. What comes out of my mouth and what goes down on paper is a completely different level of eloquence. Writing is where I speak to you. I connect with the oneness that all of us are in search of. When I get closer to you, I get closer to it. Blogging has allowed me to graduate from my Journal although every now and then I still go back to it for the comfort that it has always offered. My refuge is in my writing and I am so thankful at how I am able to bask in it. My livelihood is in my writing and when I read comments from my readers the God in me is completely still. I hear his satifaction through the stillness and the peace that comes with that is tranquil.

Thank you for allowing me to write my way into your lives. You are helping me to grow in Love.

Much Luv

No One on the Corner has SwagHer Like Us...

So back in January 2011, I joined the SwagHer Magazine Family and I have been on a high road ever since. Francheska Felder who goes by "Fancy" is the owner of Redbone Enterprises, LLC which is the media business that publishes SwagHer Magazine. She has been a God send and I appreciate her scouting me out and blessing me with the opportunity to take my writing to another platform. All of the writers for the mag have been so welcoming and we have indeed become the SwagHer Fam. Alisha Matthews, Marieca LaShawn, Arlene Culpepper, Javon Ayo and Alsie Dunbar just to name a few have been there to receive me with open arms. The writing talents of the magazine's writers is astronomical. I have felt at home since the journey has begun and I encourage you to check us out at http://www.swagher.net/ I wanted to share a little preview of an article I wrote for the SwagHer March issue, which can be found in the magazine's relationship section.

Be Lucky In Love
By: Barbara A. Crooks

So as we enter the third month of the year (the lucky month); I realize that I’ve spent an enormous amount of time focusing on what I don’t want in love versus what I actually do want. I know unequivocally that I want nothing more than to be in a healthy and loving relationship with a partner that shares not only my motivation, but my sentiments surrounding this life. The motivation of our world circulates & moves in love, and during the past two months I’ve been attracting all the types of love that I would never want for my life. Finally, it dawned on me that the only one to blame for cupid’s misdirected arrow hits is me. My thoughts that are revolving around what I don’t want have sent a signal out into the universe, which has reciprocated and in return I’m meeting every Joe Shmoe that I don’t want or need in my life. Wow!!! Who knew that my thoughts could be that powerful? I’ve always been deeply connected in my spirituality, yet I never really fully conceptualized that my thoughts of what I don’t want would bring exactly that back to me by personal design. I’ve been a firm believer throughout that as long as my thoughts aren’t negative than everything in my life should align accordingly, yet in all honesty that just hasn’t been the case. Potential dates, or suitors that I don’t have anything even remotely in common with have started arriving with flowers, candy and teddy bears and although these kind gestures have all been well-received and sweet in nature they are from men that I could never ever see myself being with. So does this mean that I’m losing oxygen to my brain and leading men on that I don’t want in my life? Well in some ways it does lol, but it’s mostly just a shift in conscious thinking on my behalf that needs to occur immediately.

To read more of this article please go to http://www.swagher.net/


Much Luv

The Aftermath of Cheating

Cheating reminds me of shattered glass. The shattered glass replicates the heart of the one that has been cheated on. I have never been able to put shattered glass back together. Have you??? Truth mixed with lies is an oxymoron.

This post is dedicated to one of my sister's. You are one of the strongest women that I know and you have always maintained that status. You are the mother to your four boys that I only wish that I could be. You are the model of what a daughter, mother, sister, and friend should be. Men will try us, but nothing they do can ever define us. I love you and I promise you that there is always sunshine after the rain.

When we make the decision to dedicate our life to another, we do so under the umbrella of prerequisites. For those of us that have money those prerequisites might be drawn up into a contract know as a prenuptial agreement. For the rest of us our prereq's are just silent understood whispers that say, "I'll do my part to love, honor and cherish you". "Just don't cheat on me asshole". The work that goes into a loving relationship between two people can never be underestimated. The love and support that it takes to continuously have your partner's back while forsaking all others in temptation is probably not half as easy as it sounds. This is why the commitment of marriage is one of the most difficult contractual laws that any human being even when on a complete and total spiritual journey can enter into. Many enter in knowing what they are up against, while some completely down play their union, and opt to wing it as they go along. The trust that it takes to give another person your heart in return for their respect, loyalty and admiration is something that I commend every married person for. It is so difficult for me to trust, and for me to place my heart in my future husband's hands would mean that he is a mighty special man and that he has touched my soul in a way that no other man here on my journey has thus far. Well, the question I pose to you then is what if he cheats? What if you married that special guy, and along with your heart you give him babies, a home, a future, and more and more of yourself with each day that turns into years of what you considered pure wedding bliss. What if you live up to each vow that you took on your wedding day and in sickness and health you continue to love a man who's health doesn't remain what it was on the special day that you chose one another? What if after long hours of work and maintaining your household you came home only to find emails that indicate infidelity and disrespect on levels that you could have never imagined your husband would engage in? Then what? What happens when the fairy-tale is somewhat a lie that your loving husband is sharing with a stranger? What happens when what appears to be perfect in your heart is tainted in his? There is no rhyme or reason to how a woman will cope with her man's or husband's infidelity, but I will clearly say this to any of my readers that are reading this post right now and considering that uphill thrill that comes with cheating. If your mate male or female doesn't leave your cheating butt then you better be good and ready to prepare yourself for the wrath that will come with them picking up the pieces to their broken heart. I would honestly be more afraid of my mate if they stayed than if they left.

This past Saturday, I caught up with one of my sister's that I haven't seen in years. Her life has always mirrored the type of life that I have wanted to live in someways. For the past 15 years or so she has been a dedicated military wife, and she has moved to countless states throughout the United States. Her loyalty has always been something that I have admired, while her husband's love seemed to have always been the key to the lock. After ups and downs, struggles and triumphs, they have always been a couple built on solid principles of love and respect. I was more than surprised when she explained her husband's recent infidelity and how it has affected their relationship. There are no excuses that can be made when it comes to infidelity. A husband cannot get bored because his wife works long hours nor can blame be placed on anyone other than the person that has decided to cheat. If a man can look across his dinner table and stare into the eyes of his beautiful children, his loving wife, and not keep that image with him when he decides to let a perfect stranger into his heart than there is most definitely a problem. I always think the reason that a person is so ready, willing and able to cheat is not only because they know that they can, but also because they never fully weigh the odds of losing all that they have at home. Why would a man spend years building the foundation of his family only to allow a few minutes of pleasure or a blow job take it all away? Logically, no fool on earth would do something so stupid, yet we live in a society where men and women cheat every single day. The innocent party (the person that has been cheated on) is now left with the weight of a decision that they should have never been faced with making in the first place. Do they stay or do they go? As human beings we all cope with things differently. If the rules of the union have been broken then of course divorce can be an option, but what if divorce was something that you said early on in your union was simply not for you? How do you cope with what has happened? Obviously, two can play at any game, but the torture of that will leave side-effects on the entire family and the damage has already been done.

The reason that I won't give any advice on this post is because cheating leaves such a huge impact that each one of us will deal with the repercussions of it differently according to how big the blow is. What I do hope to leave is the insight of weighing what is important to you when you decide to unfaithfully step out of your union. Whether you are in a lawful marriage or a committed relationship, cheating is an act that will leave one person with their heart in a million pieces. If you knew that conversing or having sex with a stranger could make your significant other pack their bags, and your children, and walk out of your life would you do it? Would it be worth it? I think if people took the time to think more with their brains and less with their body parts would live in a more peaceful and communal world. Jesus kept it very simple in the Bible when he said, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".

Much Luv