Brown Sugar the Movie 2002 - "Sid & Dre", Could you handle your man or woman's best friend?

The world as I once knew it as a child let's say back in 1983 living on Flatbush Ave. in Brooklyn has changed more than just a little bit. Technology has expanded vastly over the course of my lifetime. I can still close my eyes and see the long banana boat seat on my bike that had flowers on it. My handle bars had pink tassels lol. There's something comforting about watching an episode of "Different Strokes" or the "Facts of Life"; Well comforting for me even though that time is dead and gone, which brings me to why I selected this topic. Facebook, BBM, emailing, Twitter & web-cams have made it oh so simple for us to reconnect with old classmates and neighborhood friends. I guess technology has made cheating within relationships easier as well. When an old friend reenters my life it's like a tall cold glass of milk with cookies. The comfort that we feel with old friends may have our significant others saying, "hmmmmm". So the question I pose to you tonight is this; Can you handle your man or your woman having a "bestie"? Whether that "bestie" was down like Sid and Dre or whether that "bestie" had a similar childhood connection and reconnected with their long lost friend via the internet. How do you handle this? When facebooking graduates to text messages, and smiles that you can't seem to bring to your mates face begin to appear what do you do? We can talk about this forever because there's so many different scenarios of how this story goes.



In Brown Sugar, Sid and Dre go through hurting two innocent people before realizing how much they loved each other? Is that fair or is that true love? I don't know if I could deal with or let's say befriend a woman that knows my man better than I ever will but I do believe that many try when they're faced with a pre-existing "bestie". I often think like in the movie the many who try end up losing their sanity because the "bestie" will go hard to keep you in your lane. Where does the loyalty lie in these situations? To the homegirl or homeboy who's better liked by your parents than the person you're actually in a relationship with? Fellas, how do you guys deal with this because I'm thinking that if your girlfriend has a male best friend that's straight than it has to be hard to continue having trust. I'm a firm believer that men and women cannot be best friends. Friends of course but that constant phone, email, text, facebook, twitter thing can only lead to somebody catching feelings. If I'm putting that much energy into you than what the heck am I doing for my man? I will only speak for my gender here but fellas please call me out if I misinterpret something. When I am in a relationship with a man and that man is confiding in me and vice versa; The only other person I think I'd even be remotely ok with him doing the same would have to be his mother. My trust would feel exploited if I knew that intimate thoughts and personal things were being shared with the "bestie".



Are perimeters set in these situations? Does the man say to the female bestie, "hey you have to fall back a little my girl is uncomfortable", and then doesn't that turn the relationship between the girlfriend and the bestie sour? Seems like a lose/lose situation here to me but I know someone will comment and rationalize this explaining to me that it can be done. The way I see it playing out is when he goes over to tell her about the boundaries they'll be getting it in on a counter top in her kitchen! Women, I really think our loyalty needs to be with our gender and if you stumble across a situation like this know and respect your place. If that man is your friend then you want his relationship to be fruitful. If his girlfriend is uncomfortable with your relationship than take a minute to put yourself in her shoes and say, "If this was me I would feel the same damn way so why am I doing this to another female". As women we often have a natural instinct to be catty but if we empathize genuinely with another human being than that might change (at least in this instance). Again, this scenario can play out in so many ways. Share your own bestie/man story and we'll see what we come up with. Let's talk about it...