I Don't Care About Where You've Been, I Just Care About Where You're Going...

This title hits close to home because I've decided to share a bit of myself tonight. The raw uncut version of me. As a single woman who lives and works in New York City, I frequently find that I'm approached by all types of men and on a regular basis. "Hey beautiful, can I talk to you for a minute?", "Hey gorgeous, can I get a minute of your time?". What I find most interesting about these encounters is that my exterior always seems to paint a very different picture of what my interior actually holds. Pardon me folks I'm having a total "Diary" moment right now, "You think you know..." lol. I'm the kind of woman who always puts her best foot forward. I mean literally, if I'm headed to Dunkin Donuts in sweat pants, I will be doing it in style. Lip gloss on deck for everything lol. What men often tend to find surprising is that when they ask that 2nd or 3rd question on the list, "Do you have any kids?" My response is, "Yes, I have 3." I typically get, "3!!" "You don't look like you have 3 kids?" Confused and baffled by that point I will try to throw someting witty out to lighten the awkwardness. I'll say, "I have 3 kids", " I shouldn't look like I ate them". I get a laugh here and there but 9 out of 10 my kids who haven't even met this person have already posed such a threat that an exchange of digits or a call back will never happen. Does that sting? Of course. At the same time I've learned to retire it to, "Hey his loss not mine".



I wonder how this topic makes you feel? How many will attest to this? The above title is created with no judgment intended. Can you eliminate a person's past and accept that whatever has bought them to the present has made them what you see in front of you today? Can who they are aspiring to be in their future be more important than who they were 10 years ago. Can a woman like myself, educated, stable career on Wall Street, creative, innovated and talented with 3 children and 2 baby father's be blacklisted? Did I blacklist myself when I didn't live my life according to yours or society's standards? If you look in my backyard you will find dirt! So how does a person in their 30's find faith and a light of hope for a new relationship when baggage is typically frowned upon? How do I get a suitor to see me for me today and not for who I was many moons ago? Does a person need to give a run down of their resume? Do I need to tell a prospective love interest on a 1st date that my daughters' (2) father almost beat me so bad that it's a blessing that I'm still here today? Do I need to say that 8 years after that I tried my luck again, which resulted in the birth of my son and that didn't work out either? Is it ok to be a person that doesn't settle? Is it ok to be strong willed and a little picky? How do we live in the present??? Isn't that what God wants us to do? Help me out ppl, let's talk about it...