Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Sun That Lines My Sky

Every morning that I step foot outside of my apartment I take a deep look at the sky. I'm typically walking my dog Sundae when I do this and therefore the experience is pretty routine. I'm not in a rush when I do this and I'm generally looking for is a connection with the sun. When I do make my connection I close my eyes for a brief moment. I'll sometimes pull out my blackberry in an attempt to capture the essence of what I see. The skyline will always tell a different story. I bask in the one that I see on a particular day, and I am always in awe of its beauty. It's never the same and I take multiple deep breaths as I give thanks for the moment. I thank my Creator for giving me the gift of life and for including me in this experience. I think of the ones that have gone before me and I wonder if they were ever this present when they were here. I do this all year round, on average 3-4 times a week and I've noticed that I'm more connected to smells in the summer. I connect with the smells of the trees, freshly cut grass and of the many bloomed flowers. In the winter, I connect with the cold. I feel it all over my body, and I am present with it. What doesn't seem to change with the seasons is the sun that lines my sky. When I marvel at it I reconnect with my Creator instantly. Its warmth, its glow, its divine stillness, I marvel at it. As my spirit begins to rise I am AWARE that my Creator dwells inside of me. On my morning walks there is a silence and a stillness in my sky. I feel a warm whisper that pushes me to be fully aware of my being of my presence. The feeling takes me back to my childhood and I remember sitting in class raising my hand and saying, "Here" after the teacher called my name. While I'm walking I silently whisper, "Here". I do this so that my Creator knows that I am awake and aware of my oneness with the world. I imagine that this act brings him great joy. I giggle. My energy, my power and my oneness are all in sync on my walks. If chaos makes its way into my hectic day I know that I can restore myself immediately by connecting with my Source.

The clouds look different on my morning walks. I smile at their lack of alignment. The clouds represent a being that is carefree. They are soft, beautiful, and open to receiving. Reminds me of the essence of a woman. The clouds are inviting and once again they lead me to ponder about the ones that have already left the earth. Maybe they left too soon? Maybe they left exactly when they were supposed to? I wonder if they ever looked at the clouds this way? There is an essential beauty that comes from the sun that lines my sky. I take a deep breath at the thought of death. I realize that I have connected with my earth, with my Source and with all the precious and natural things in it. My connection doesn't involve anything that is of material value. I'm not connected to shoes, or clothes, or cars. I'm only connected to life. I'm only connected to breathing. I'm only connect to my Source and to my spirit. I'm only connect to Love and to Peace. These are the things that I have connected with. I think of the work that is still yet to be done. I open my heart to my Creator and prays that he continues to use me in whatever way he sees fit. The journey is way bigger than me, or my family or my friends. There will be many that I will be responsible for lifting up on the way. I will be responsible for throwing the rope and seeing to it that they catch it. Then I will pull and pull until I know that they are secure. Sharing is a part of the journey. Sharing wisdom and knowledge that isn't ours to keep. My Creator knows that I'm ready to meet the demands of the challenge. There is a world waiting that will not, and cannot change without my contribution. These are the eyes that I see through. My Creator lets me know in different ways that there is no place for fear on the journey. Where I lack he will provide abundance.

I wasn't always this way. I was asleep for a very long time. I woke up less than a year ago and I have been grateful ever since. I used to be a part of the committee that did nothing to change its circumstances. I used to be a part of the crew that pointed fingers and blamed everyone else. I used to have self-bashing parades and I was the only one that ever attended. I was a part of the board of elected officials that thought everything I owned had to be safe-guarded for me and mines. I played for the team that could never appreciate what they had so in returned they keep getting more of the same. So often I tried to figure out what tomorrow would be and I lost focus on the fact that if tomorrow never came I would never know. Today I wake up with a different purpose. I prepare my best self for my best day and I thank my Creator for affording me the opportunity to still be here. What I get back is phenomenal. I see greatness, I feel greatness, and I expect greatness and what I received in return is greatness! Spirituality and my connections with being has been a dynamic force that has changed my life for the better. I no longer live in past regret, or in future intention. I just live. I try to connect with all the joy that I can handle and when my cup overflows I just giggle and give thanks.

I want to leave you with an idea of what all of this feels like. I was recently walking down an avenue in NYC after coming from an event at "The Open House". My soul made a huge connection with the topic of the evening and I left the forum feeling full and overjoyed. When I talk about my soul I would compare the feeling to anytime you get chills, yet overly intensified to the point of brief debilitation. It can be uncomfortable depending on where I'm at, yet I always embrace her whenever she arrives (I'd like to think that my soul is a woman lol). Anyway, I was walking down the avenue rhythmatically to the beat of my own drum. I could hear my heart beating and I felt so in tune with myself. What happened next was even a little weird for me. I started to walk slower thinking to myself that I really wasn't in a rush to reach the train station. I stayed in tune with my steps, with my breathing, and with my emotions and I noticed that I was feeling increasingly happier by the second. Finally, I reached a point that I literally felt tipsy like the way you would after a couple of glasses of wine. There was no alcohol served at the event as it was a forum where people just get together to chat. I was amazed at my level of happiness and I will cherish that moment for a lifetime.

My hope is that each an every one of you will experience a feeling like this at least once during the course of your lifetime. It's a blissful state-of-being that comes from nothing but oneness. I was only connected with myself that not. I wasn't around anyone just me and the piece of God that dwells within me. I hope you look at your skyline and the sun differently after today and I hope that the clouds will move in a direction that speaks to your soul. I pray that you find oneness. I promise you that when you do everything else in your life will fall into place accordingly. I love you all.

Much Luv

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