Sunday, December 5, 2010

Bathing in Naked Truth

By definition naked truth is a noun that means basic truth. On my quest for a deeper connection with peace I have begun to examen basic truth and its surrounding elements.

Ok, so on average I’d say that it takes about 5 weeks for a person to show you who they really are. People can’t generally keep a fa├žade going for any longer than that. Of course during the initial stage of getting to know one another we all generally put our best foot forward. We might keep our bad habits to ourselves i.e. I need coffee within 30 minutes of waking up (this is true for me), or that we’re obsessed with shoes or sports etc. These things can be gradually discussed during the course of the relationship but some things can’t. Some things although uncomfortable in nature need to be discussed early on. By discussing our truths early on we give the other person who wants to get involved with us the option to walk before anyone catches feelings. The first person that comes to mind when I think of this concept of "bathing in naked truth" is the singer Fantasia (American Idol Winner). I think of her because with her we have an example of how lies hurt everyone involved. Her beau was obviously still with his wife that later went on to sue Fantasia for breaking up her “happy home”. We all know that Fantasia wouldn’t have ever been added to the equation if the home was in fact “happy”. After the allegations were filed in court, Fantasia a single-mom of one, attempted to commit suicide. There are many words that I can use to describe how she was probably feeling at the time, but I’d rather just focus on the point that had her guy been honest, and laid his cards on the table for what they really were then he would have empowered all parties involved because everyone would have had a choice. His wife would have been clear on the fact that his love for her was dissipating; and his girlfriend would have been clear on the fact that she wasn’t the only one in his life. The unknown question is, "Would anyone have stayed with him?" The answer is, "Probably not".

When our fears keep us from engaging in the truth we set the stage for a relationship that can’t survive. Healthy relationships that are based on love, peace, and truth are the only ones that can grow. They grow healthier and healthier until the bond that is created is solid. When they are contaminated with lies, and dark secrets they get smothered in distrust. Years ago, I read a book that offered an analysis that has always stuck with me. I applied it to myself as a parent at the time, yet it rings true for all other aspects of life too. The book explained how our “naked truths”, are what really help us to help others. We are only as good as the story we have to tell. It’s the truth behind our stories that can really help another person if they are able to plug into the message. When we cover-up, or leave out parts of our stories to make ourselves look better; then all we do is discredit ourselves as human beings. All of my experiences are what have helped to shape me into the woman that I am so proud to call myself today. The human condition is a beautiful experience. It’s a journey of learning that is different for each and every one of us. We live, we learn, we grow, and we aspire to be the best that we can be. If we can lie off of that initial urge to keep our truth to ourselves, or to only disclose what makes us look “good” to societies standards than we deny our past, and how we’ve come to be who we are in the present. I don’t suggest dwelling on the past, or letting it define you, yet bathing in your naked truth and embracing that it has played a part in where you are today without the phoniness or the sugar-coating will ultimately set you free.

Never underestimate the power of connection. If a connection has been developed or it’s just there and you don’t know exactly how or why just stick with it. Keep in mind that it will thrive on truth. Fear is what often puts us in compromising positions as people. Trust that the person you’re dealing with will receive you with all that you have been through, and with all that you have to tell. In addition, look to the other person to share their own naked truth and try to receive it without judgment the same way that you are looking to be received. They often say, “You can’t handle the truth”, but I assure you that this is a statement soaked in fear. Don’t be afraid to hear where your mate has been, and let them tell you where they are going. Support their struggles and in return I guarantee if he/she is the person for you they will gladly do the same in return.

Much Luv

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