Friday, October 8, 2010

The Quiet After The Storm

The Fall calms my spirit, and this is something I just learned recently. I spent my Summer entwined in a maze of mixed emotions. I left my readers hanging and I walked further and further towards darkness and isolation. All conditions of being a human being of course, but also terms of endearment. As one relationship (in whatever capacity that relationship exists) comes to an end another door slowly opens, but I tried to close that door because a part of me is just so tired. So tired of all the changes that come with loving, and with being in love. I can relate to the "Ice Box" that Omarion sings about in one of his songs. For me the "ice box" is a dark place that you're carried to after so much hurt, heartbreak, neglect, and pain. It's the smiley face that I wear on my face to protect me from the questions of the world. It's the, "I'm good", "I'm ok", when I'm totally ravaged, and destroyed deep down inside. Did anyone die? No, but my heart has survived a thousand deaths. There's something so complicated about the darkness. You know that you'll return to the light, but the rendering question is when? As the seasons change it helps me to witness change within myself, some personal growth and development on a scale that overall I'm impressed with. As we get older we're responsible for our hearts and for healing them when they get bruised. I think I'm going to make a CD of mixed songs that help to calm us after the storm. The 1st one that comes to mind is the girls Diddy had as a group Danity Kane, "Damaged'! Jeez, did my girls hit the nail on the head with that one or what??? In one of the lyrics, "Tell me are you up for the challenge", "Cause my heart is damaged" I'm be so silly right now but we'll call the CD, "Weathering the Storm" and we'll place it in a kit called "The B.C. Chronicles Survival Kit" and we'll put some strong Tequila in that kit too, along with anything else we deem necessary! Whenever one of my readers goes through a rocky time like I just did the kit will be on it's way no matter where in the world you live courtesy of me (promise). When our hearts are breaking we just need to know we're not alone. God's infinite presence is always there but his presence that we typically see in us dissipates with the sadness and the grief in our hearts.

So here I stand now still in one-piece, and still knowing my grace and my strength as a woman. As I watch the trees changing colors, and the temperature drop outside I realize that time is truly like an hourglass. The funny thing is when we slip into darkness we always know that we'll make it through, yet getting over the hump is often so hard. Faith is such a beautiful thing! Hope is impeccable, and 1 Happiness can scatter a thousand sorrows! In my case, this slip into darkness caused a trickle effect in some other areas of my life. The law of attraction was evident, and as I cried I bought on more things to cry about. Looking back I just want to move away from that and return to my happy state the one that I'm most comfortable and confident in. When it comes to picking up the pieces it's often hard knowing where to start. For me as a writer I have to believe in my talent, and know that with it I can overcome any storm. My writing is where I see God in myself. A small piece of him when my pen hits a page and goes to work. The creativity that unfolds is God at his highest. He works through me to provide the message and I take heed and listen to what comes to me through him. You know it's not my purpose to preach just to make you aware that God really is that soft voice, that whisper whether you're asleep or awake. He speaks to us so that we can excell. The one entity that wants you as an individual to reach your full potential, and to rise above any circumstance that is sent your way. These are the lessons that have taken me a lifetime to learn. I appreciate them and I hope whomever I go on to share my journey with will share some of my same philosophies.

In closing, just know I love you all and I wish you all the best. If you have already found that special someone be thankful for them. Look for God in them and how he works through them. If you haven't found that special someone yet have faith that he/she is coming. The journey is best travelled with company. Relationships are complicated but when they are deeply rooted in love you have to believe that it will and can survive.

post signature


  1. Good read. I will be the first to admit that adversity is a tremendous thing to overcome for anyone, but it can be overcome if a person keeps a positive mind and push forward. As you appear to be. And I am not simply talking from what I've heard ... I speak from personal experience.

    Love is a mugg - no question about it. Relationships are often complex but, as you touched upon, they are worth their weight in gold.

  2. I do the same thing. I make myself a mini playlist in my MP3 player and just walk around with it according to what mood I am in. Love Is a challenge and always is needy in the way that it always has to be worked and nurtured. You would think in my elder years, I would have it down pact, but it changes all the time. If one cares about the relationship, both parties will have to work on it instead of just one. We will one day get it together with someone who is willing and deserving.

  3. Hi Don & Jerri:

    Thank you both for such warm comments. Jerri I love when you said that both parties have to work on the relationship. I think that's where many couples go wrong and many go right. The ones that know this have the most successful relationships because they both provide equal effort. For the relationships that go sour generally that's because one person is pulling the entire weight and working way too hard to keep the union in tact. I doubt relationships were ever intended to be easy but I do believe that Love is simple when people keep it that way. The beauty of being in love is knowing that your significant other has your back and feels the very same way. I don't think the wisdom necessarily comes with age as much as I think it comes with just having the right partner.

    Don, relationships are definitely worth their weight in gold! I love that!

    Much Luv