Thursday, July 29, 2010

Gay Love

Dear B.C. Readers:

My next post won't appeal to all of you, and as I'm writing it I'm completely aware of this. I thank God that I've always been open-minded enough throughout my years to love, and appreciate all of my gay friends without judgment. From my flamboyant gay friends to the ones that were stuck on staying in the closet way back in the 90's, I have loved them. I also think that they have been drawn to my warm nature as an individual, and have always loved me back. What I have regretted up until about a week ago is never having had the guts to connect further by asking real questions and not just any questions, love questions. I've listened to, " Hey Barb, I dated such a cute guy last night", or "I hooked up with this hot guy at a party", but for my own fear of not wanting to be a disrespectful, nosy-sounding heterosexual female, I've always been polite in responding, but never bridged the gap. Thankfully, I met my new friend S.G., and he helped to bridge the gap for me. People, we have to wake-up there is only one love, and it's universal. It's not homosexual or's just a universal emotion and I feel so blessed to feel it in my life each and everyday in one way or another. Hugs and Kisses to my Gays!!! Never stop fighting your cause or being who God has intended for you to be. I publicly follow my gays on twitter, on facebook, and on my blog, and I encourage all of you to do the same. If you have never checked out Love B. Scott then you have yet to see what a gorgeous man looks like. Everytime he refers to his readers as, "Love Muffins" my heart melts. Here is my story...

Before I met S.G., I thought I was one of the last hopeless romantic's still standing in this concrete jungle. The only schmuck, that still believed in this invisible force of chemistry that one can only experience with another. That chemistry will rarely if ever be matched by another. I honesty don't even think it can be duplicated. You might go on 100 dates, and feel it on 1. I hope everyone in life gets to experience this exact feeling at least once in their lives. I've had countless conversations with my girlfriends, and none of them (well except for 1) have validated the feeling. S.G. on the contrary did, and he did so in such a passionate way that I could feel his sincerity. I don't want to offer the impression that heartbreak isn't sometimes associated with this type of bliss but when it isn't I'm sure that the relationship can stand the test of time. I'd love to interview Jada and Will, or Tamia and Grant Hill, or even Beyonce and Jay-Z (the lyrics to Halo are playing on repeat in my mind lol). This type of feeling can have all of those built up walls come tumbling down. I wouldn't mind betting money that their marriages resulted in these type of initial feelings. The thing is in the words of Keyshia Cole, "You can't help who you love." It's a sweaty palm, butterflies in your stomach, heart-racing type feeling. S.G. and I were having a conversation one day, when he mentioned that he was secretly in love with a guy that sounded like his perfect match. I could tell that the situation was frustrating for him so I prompted to hear more. I said, "I wanna hear all about him", and he said, "Ok since you live for this stuff I'll tell you". By the time he was done telling me I wanted to grab his love interest, and just shake him upside down. Here was this great guy standing in front of me, and just the fact that he wanted to share that greatness with someone else who wasn't responsive was beyond me? The rejection pained me, but at the same time S.G. expressed that he had never admitted his feelings to his love interest. That's the complicated thing about love. Ugh!!! Having the guts to admit the way your feeling is one thing, but the fact that we don't know how it will be received is another.

All of this reminded me of a course I took at St. John's University when I was studying for my B.A. in Sociology. The course was called, "Intro to Christian Marriage". My professor was so passionate about the course material, and I was engulfed in the study. It annoys me that at this moment I can't remember his name. He was an older white man late 50's -mid 60's, and what I remember most was how animated he was when he talked about the early stages of love. Those early stages where you like him or her, yet you don't know how the feeling will be received. What the class mainly focused on was when the unsuspected other party validates the feeling by saying that they too are feeling the exact same way. It's melodic at that moment. I'm guessing now that this was his segway into christian marriage. I can definitely say that there is something about the above stated that seems bonded in something beyond just this earth. S.G. reminded me of all of this just by his eyes and the loving expression behind them when he was explaining the feeling. It was at that moment that I connected with another human being that loved the way I love and this is where S.G. helped me to bridge the gap between heterosexual and homosexual love and I will be forever grateful.

I hope this short article will help you bridge the gap too, and I invite my gays to keep educating me. I have always secretly wanted my own gay boyfriend to hangout with. Love you all, and you will always have my adoration. I will always respect your struggle!

Much Luv

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