When I step out into the world my hips sway and exuberate the type of confidence that can only arise from experience. Well experience, and a natural air of leadership that I can promise you God granted me at birth. I can remember watching countless episodes of Sesame Street as a child and whenever the song for "One of these kids are doing their own thing", would come on I was always intrigued with the kid that wasn't doing what the other kids were doing. I'm what they call a natural born leader from the planet of "Dreams". I'm part of that dreamer population that many shake their head at, and tend to think we're nuts. In all honesty, the dreamers are the movers & shakers. We take risks that the average would never have the guts to. We live on the edge and we never do what the crowd is doing. Yep! That's me. Confidence cannot be faked. I was often made fun of as a child, but in adulthood it has proven to be a very beneficial trademark. For those of you that follow me on Twitter or Facebook then you know that I did my share of venting earlier this week. Some of my past relationships came back to bite me in the ass (so to speak), and my reaction to those dead, and gone relationships was quite frankly inappropriate. I felt the years of my own life invested in those individuals were spent in vain. My venting was part of my anger, yet my emotional reactivity was less than lady like. Self-Assurance set in a few hours after my posts, and I calmly realized that what one man loses out on another man is blessed with.
I spent years of learning how to cook Haitian cuisine, and watching painful hours of football, and when I first started posting I thought that all that time lost was spent in vain. Every experience is a blessing in one way or another. The time spent with one helps you to know and understand your value to another. When one under appreciates, and awareness is stirred and recognition of value is formed. The blessing in it all is to have loved in the first place. To have shared my heart with another individual who at least at some point in the union returned the favor is bliss in and of itself. I wish my past lovers the best in their relationships. Something inside of them let them know the ladies they chose were right for their lives. My inner self-assurance lets me know without a doubt how right I will be for someone else. I was listening to Mr. Sexy himself the other day (Trey Songz), and his song "Yo Side of the Bed". In one of the lyrics he says, "I don't wanna sleep if you ain't here", and I was moved! I was like, "Damn!", that's the kind of loving I want, and need in my life and I know without a doubt that will eventually come. There's such a sense of appreciation attached to a statement such as, "I just wanna breathe your air." We are worthy of that, and that is no less than what we deserve. Writing this blog lets me know how lucky my future husband is. His future wife is secure in her self-assurance, and she is structured on living a life that isn't outlined by fear. "Never let a shadow from your past take away the shine of your future". (#YouSurvived The Single Woman)
In closing, I want to shout out all the past liars and assholes in my life, and I want to thank them for helping to build the strength of a woman who will not settle for less than she is worth. Loving ya'll helped me to love me that much more! Cheers to my girl Amy Winehouse for writing, "Back to Black". It's a temporary condition and like everything else, "This Too Shall Pass"!