Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Correlation Between Physical Appearance & A Healthy Relationship

As many of my readers continue to ask about my success with my Summer Dating Challenge; I felt compelled to open up a bit, and to reveal why the challenge has flopped. I've had great offers this Summer (some jerks of course), but mostly great guys ready, willing, and able to delve into something sweet and promising. What was the problem? Me! I spent most of my Summer focused on my flaws, and my bad eating habits. What backfired in the process of me doing this was the time I wasted, and the many good offers I've turned down. There's tons of pressure on a woman as she approaches 35 years-old. As my boobs start to sag, and my cellulite reveals itself shamelessly; I realized how unhappy I am with the current state of my body. Turning the television on can also make anyone feel 10 times worse. Summertime, also forces us to be conscious about the condition of our bodies because we are wearing such a limited amount of clothing. What I do know for sure is that I want to spend a lot of the rest of my years naked. I want to look at myself in the mirror no matter what the season, and I want to be happy with the reflection staring back at me. The problem? Working out, and eating right is physically difficult for lazy individuals like myself. Not too mention but I love cake, candy, cookies, ice cream, and anything else that represents sweets and whip cream lol. The later in life that we find ourselves "single & looking," is the more we focus on our physical appearance. I think the stakes are not only higher later in life, but the competition is also fiercer.

So what is a lazy girl like myself to do? Well let me start by telling you what I won't be doing. I won't be going to the gym in this NYC heat. I will join a gym as soon as that cool Fall air begins to kick in. I have also decided that I will try my luck at being a pescetarian and stick to fish and veges. I've spent much of my life eating whatever I've wanted, knowing that most of the time my food choices were deadly. My lack of discipline has left a void of unhappiness. When a man or a woman reenters the dating scene they typically do so with the intention of putting their best foot forward. What happened to me this Summer was I realized that I really couldn't do that confidently. With all of this being said it made me wonder how I would be in a new relationship. Would I be the girl walking around in my sweats and my doobie or would I try to keep it sexy at all times for my mate? I've been in two (what I consider) major relationships in my life and in those relationships I always was the "sweats and doobie" girl and I often "played house" with men that I'm sure had no intention of marrying me. I refuse to waste anymore time playing house and I'm confident now that I will really go the extra mile when I find my husband. I realize that whatever energy I put in to get him will be the same energy I'll have to put in to keep him. Often times, we don't want to see the correlation between our physical appearance and our relationship but I don't think there is anyway we can ignore it. I'm bringing it across in its simplest form. I'm not saying that a cheating partner won't go out and cheat regardless or that if your mate doesn't maintain her figure or he grows a beard you should leave. No way! Changes within the relationship should always be supported and embraced but a constant sense of awareness needs to always be present as well.

In closing, I'm not suggesting that anyone should spend too much time worrying about their physical appearance. I encourage all of you to get out there and enjoy your lives. I also encourage all of us to live our best lives and in doing so we should try to fill all of those voids that need filling. As long as models and celebrities grace the covers of magazines there will always be an unrealistic norm for us to follow yet we all know where we are comfortable as individuals. Make the changes you need to make for yourself to look and feel your very best. Give dating your all as the end result may be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Keep love sexy and spicy and waste no time playing house with a dude that has no intention of putting a ring on it! My Summer Dating Challenge was a bust but my Fall Dating Challenge doesn't have to be! Knowing what you want, and keeping yourself happy is key to being a great participant in a loving and meaningful relationship.

Much Luv

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