I Gave You All My Ugly

Two years ago, I gave you all my ugly

You gave me all your ugly too

I wasted all my pretty

I wanted to heal you in the place where you stored past hurt

But I was too broken to be of any help

Where do broken hearts go?

To Heaven or Hell

If they walk around wounded they go where I did

I burned in the Flames

Then someone called my name

I looked back because I thought it was you

The light was so bright that I couldn’t make out the face

He stepped out boldly

His robe was so white that I had to turn away

That’s when he grabbed me and wiped all the soot away

When he opened his arms, doves flew out all sorts of ways

He gave me hug and walked me to the table

He knew me by my name

He said, “All your ugly has passed away”.

At the table he showed me a mirror

At first I saw your face

He told me that I was looking for a Savior but that you were not the Way

I couldn’t be with you because he hadn’t worked on me

And then I looked again but this time I saw Me

I violated your trust but it allowed me to regain His

He taught me a new obedience and I instantly felt like a kid

His love for me extends from His Kingdom to my world

As the soot began to fade I saw my pretty face

As the King ate a meal with me he explained that my brokenness was gone

And that the memories we created were sort of like a Love Song

He said that because neither of us was ready in his eyes we’re still together apart

In all our mess and chaos, only He could offer us a new start

I told him that you’ve moved on to a girl with style and grace

He said, “My child, the only thing I want you to focus on is that your ugliness has been erased”.

I’m so blessed

That’s all that I could manage to say

He saved me before death entrapped me

Proverbs 31

White Candle

The pages opened and he showed me

I heard the faint sound of a guitar playing behind and a lovely melody in the wind

“Her Husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.

She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life”.

With soot on my hands and face

I finally understood my Light & His Grace

He Saved Me at that moment

Right there, with all my soot from the flames, he showed me one page

He walked me back to my world and said

“My Promises are true”

“Love will be a Battle”

“I Love Your Husband more than you do”

“Your union will survive because it is my Will for both of you”

1 Corinthians 13

“Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance”

I’m not the one that he believes in

I’m trying to let him go, trying to turn the page

His Happiness means the world to me even though he might not think so

Do broken hearts make their way back?

Revelation 3

“I know all the things you do, and I have opened a door for you that no one can close

You have little strength, yet you obeyed my word and did not deny me”.

He gave me another hug with his glorious white rob on

He never seemed worried or concerned about all the soot that I had on

In His silence, I knew that I would see Him again

When He calls me back Home to Heaven

For now, I’ll return to my world but this time without my ugly

Praise the Lord

 

The Wind Blows Differently Here

Many times our stories won’t be told until we’ve left the earth. Nevertheless, every story is worth telling. This is the history of the neighborhood that I was raised in. R.I.P. Crystal Sweet, may you always be the angel that watches over your daughter. I’m sorry that we lost you.

The wind is stale and harshly cruel here.  It has a personality of nothingness and it finds oneness with darkness. It blows with ferocity at times and its occupants can become just as angry as it. Every now and again there’s a gentle hint of laced marijuana blowing in its harshness; just enough to make you want to gag if you don’t find that type of aroma pleasing. God left this place a long time ago and now the only thing that remains here are the countless scaffoldings and the angry men.  The angry men were cheated out of life and some might even think that they were cursed to remain here within these four corners forever. They inherited the four corners debt-free when their parents bought into the bargain of its cheap rent and free utilities.  To their parent’s credit, this was once a quite lovely place to raise a family.  It was once filled with the laughter of happy children playing. Budding green trees and grasses once grew here too!  The squirrels weren’t as aggressive back then as the ones I see here today.  These squirrels today should be fitted for motorcycle jackets and smoke cigarettes.  This place was once filled with neighbors that actually cared enough to never mind their own business. Minding one’s own business back then might mean that someone’s child could be lost or even worse, hurt. Everyone looked out for everyone back then. That was always an unspoken rule here. We were all as tight knit as a cable sweater. Those were the days that someone shouted, “Barbara, does your Mutha know you outside?” A follow-up telephone call was made to my mother just in case I might be lying in saying that I had permission to be outside. If I didn’t have permission, I guarantee you that in less than 5 minutes my mother was downstairs in her large bifocal glasses searching for me. I felt so well-protected here at one time that it makes me cringe as I look around today. The wind blows differently here.

  

I’m deep in thought now and I’m thinking of the culprit and then it finally comes to me. Something terrible happened here in the late 1980’s.  Crack-cocaine entered our dynamic and a neighborhood that once blossomed with enough was now quickly turning into a place of lack, destitute, despair and hardship. Some of our beloved neighbors were now running amuck selling their VCR’s, and gold jewelry in exchange for crack.  Their faces were barely recognizable at times as crack began to suck them dry of any signs of life.  Every man here now was out for himself.  Sons turned on their mother’s and spouses began having love affairs with the tiny white rocks.  Children lost their parents in the chaos too. Small residue filled red and white empty crack vials began turning up all over our once clean neighborhood streets. Poverty and police sirens blow in the wind here now.  The good ones weren’t spared either.  Some good sons became drug-dealers and some smart daughters became trophy girlfriends for the big time dealers that weren’t even from the neighborhood.  If crack bypassed your household completely, then you were blessed to escape Satan’s wrath.  Many children were robbed of their youth during those years as the wind just continued to blow with its fury and destroy everything in its path.  Some were committed to a life of crime that only guaranteed one of two outcomes; death or prison.  Some gave birth to babies while they were still babies themselves.  This one-way ticket to hell wasn’t what any of us had signed up for during the young, peaceful and hope-filled years.  Crack was like the onset of a terrible earthquake. A nightmarish tornado and there really was no place like home. No one had ample time to prepare for the hit.  We had big dreams and aspirations before the crack came.  We claimed the cars we would have when we grew up and we played manhunt in the street without fear.  The experiment we were in was unknown to us and unfortunately it ate some of us alive. Many of us became dry leaves blowing in the wind.  In 1990, I pleaded with the YMCA to keep funding, “The Fresh Air Fund Summer Camp” a summer camp program that would invite inner city children to attend sleep-away camp for free for two-weeks.  In my essay, I explained that sleep-away camp would serve as an outlet of freedom for our innocence; freedom from drugs, drug-dealers, rising crime and fear.  My essay won 1^st place and The New York Times, covered the story.  It wasn’t enough to save me from the neighborhood.

“Where are you God, It’s me Barbara”.  “This isn’t what I wanted or expected for my life”.  “I’m smarter than this; I can see above all the destitute here”.  God didn’t hear me back then or maybe I couldn’t hear God because the haze that surrounded Satan’s playground was thick.   Some of us made it out but we’re scarred with the kind of trust issues that will last us a lifetime. Let’s fast-forward 19 years or so; the fierce wind is still blowing. You see where the wind blows differently you can leave but the wind has a way of trailing you.  Someone you know is always still in the wind and you will always hope and pray the best for them from a distance. You pray that they get out because this place isn’t safe for anyone.   I can remember a day that the wind bought the rain with it. It’s the end of May, in 2011, and I’m lying in bed in my quiet Queens neighborhood when I receive a very disturbing early morning telephone call. The caller is frantic when she says, “B, two people were murdered last night behind my building. I have to get out of here!”  The caller advised me that I knew all of the victims involved; a third victim was fighting for his life in critical condition.  I couldn’t wrap my mind around what she was saying and I couldn’t picture any of the victims. There was a very long silence after learning that one of the victims was a young mother.  I wasn’t used to that. I wasn’t prepared to hear that a young female became a casualty of a war that was underway for nearly 20 years. I selfishly thought, “Thank God I don’t live there anymore”, but that was cowardly. The caller was so shaken because as if to add insult to injury, she was at a local restaurant just hours before and the young woman was also there…alive and enjoying her life.  22 year-old Crystal Sweet was murdered outside of her family’s apartment window within the confines of the four corners.  Her daughter was instantly robbed of her right to have a mother by the neighborhood where the wind blows differently.  Crystal Sweet was a drug-dealer’s girlfriend and she was me just 19 years later.  In an Epicenter of opportunity like NYC, a melting pot where dreams are stirred and structured, it saddens me to think that there are still tiny little pockets of neighborhoods in areas where the spirit of success and wealth don’t ever blow their wind.  Young men have no vision here because this wind has blown the vibrant colors of life away from them.

The wind blows differently here…

James 1:19-21 “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger*does not produce the righteousness* God desires. So get rid of all the filth and evil in your lives, and humbly accept the word God has planted in your hearts, for it has the power to save your souls.”

It seems like we don’t even care…

Much Luv

I Fell Asleep in Heaven

I felt completely in my element as I maneuvered through this place quickly; as if I had spent a lifetime here. I can remember passing out flower petals by the handfuls to little children that were so happy to see me coming. I knew all of these children very well.  Their little faces bought me so much joy. Some would run up and smile while others just wanted to touch the tips of my fingers.  One child found so much joy in simply resting his tiny hand on my cheek  as I knelt down to give him a handful of petals.  The children would throw the petals in the air while singing, laughing and dancing with one another.  On this day I moved with an unusual haste.  I had a meeting scheduled with Jesus in the quiet garden.  Jesus spent a lot of time alone in the quiet garden and none of us bothered him when he was there.  An Angel summoned me earlier this day and advised me that the Lord needed to speak with me.  I knew Jesus very well and I was eager to hear what he had to say. He was my Heavenly Father but he was also my best friend.  I could talk to him about anything and his caring advice was always perfectly on time.  Everyone here was Jesus’ best friend and he always made time for all of us; especially when we were heavily burdened and in need of counsel. He started our discussion by commending me on my work here in heaven.  I couldn't help but to notice the glass coffin lying on top of a beautiful pedestal in the middle of the garden. It had this magnificent glow to it and inside I could see that the linens and pillow were made of silk in a pearl like color. In this place called Heaven we don’t have any fear or anxiety because we trust the Lord for everything.  I was an eager spirit and Jesus always commended me for my naturally inquisitive ways.  I had a fascination with the brilliant colors of the flowers and I also shared this same fascination with the colors of the birds and how they soared in the wind.  I would wear my clothing drapery light and flowing to my ankles. I always selected the whitest of whites although we could also wear pearl and ivory. I was eager to hear what the Lord had called me to do today.  Like a soldier of war I was ready to serve in any way that he needed me to.  

I thought that Jesus might want me to spend more time with the children. I had the feeling that he would want me to take them out into the valley and read to them more.  I enjoyed reading to the children.  I was rather surprised when Jesus said that I had done everything that he needed me to do in Heaven. He knew that I was eager to dream about Earth as I had heard some of the elders discussing their Earth dreams amongst each other. “Oh how delightful”, I blurted out and Jesus’ face became instantly grieved.  He said, “My child they will reject your spirit in your Earth dream”.  “Your spirit is much like mine and they prefer the darkness there”.  The darkness was only something I had heard the elders discussing.  I knew it wasn't pleasant like the flowers but I still said, “Jesus, the elders come back and say that what they loved most on their Earth dream was their children”.  They explained to me that they had children that specifically belonged just to them.  I couldn't completely understand that because I loved all the children here in Heaven the exact same and I knew that they all loved me with the same heart. Jesus said, “You will have 3 children on your Earth dream to care for”. “Wonderful”, I said, as my heart instantly warmed up with love for them.  “Your love for them will make it difficult for you to wake up but you will have to leave them and come back home to your work here”, Jesus said.  “Yes Father”, I understand.  I didn't want to come back from my Earth dream old like the elders because I knew the children of Heaven depended on my spirit. Jesus didn't typically call anyone my age to have an Earth dream because the elders would say, “they just weren't ready”.  The elders never discussed the darkness of the Earth dream because they would say, “It’s too painful to talk about”.  A very old elder once said to me that Earth was a wild and dirty place and she begged me to ask Jesus to never let me have the dream because she said I was, “too pure”, and “too beautiful”.  I still wanted to go.  I heard stories of love, and joy and of communion with others that filled me with happiness. There was a connection that the elders made there that they could simply never forget and I didn't want them to.  I knew Jesus was mistreated during his Earth dream and he had the holes in his hands and his feet that showed it.  Because I never experienced anything but peace, joy, love and cleanliness I couldn't imagine violence or crime or any of those words that the elders used to describe their Earth dreams. I began to pray for an Earth dream each night before I closed my eyes. 

This is why I was in the quiet garden with Jesus today.  He said, “I hear your prayers child but my heart grieves to let you enter the Earth dream”. I said, “Father, I promise I will be ok”.  I promised to be a good person and a good, “mother”, the words the elders used to describe people that had children specifically assigned to their care. Jesus said, “I know and that is why I have chosen to let you go now, but I must warn you that you won’t come back here the same”.  “Oh thank you Father and I promise I will come back the same”, was all that I could muster up to say.  I didn't get to tell my friends in Heaven that I was going but I knew like the elders before me that I would be back. I didn't think that Jesus would let me sleep long enough to become old. Some of the elders were old and very shaken-up when they returned as if it were more of a nightmare.  Jesus would send me to sit with them and to say caring words to them until they remembered that they were back home and no longer asleep and in the dream. I had a lot of work to do in Heaven with the children so I knew I couldn’t be in my dream for long. “Oh finally, an Earth dream”, is what I thought to myself as Jesus walked with me over to the glass coffin.  Jesus explained that I wouldn't remember Heaven in the dream and that when I did it would be nearing the time for me to return home. He said that he would watch over me every step of the way because I was his child and he cared for me deeply.  He warned me of the temptations that Satan would throw my way and he explained that my love for the 3 children would make me want to stay in my Earth dream forever.  Jesus said, “I will be here when you wake up and I will be the one to help you to ease the pain of the separation from them”.

They will never forget you and I promise that when they wake up from their own Earth dream I will reunite the 4 of you here.  You have done great work here in Heaven and this will be my reward to you. He also said that each of them would keep a tiny piece of me that would carry them through their own Earth dreams and I thought that was splendid. I smiled big because I couldn't imagine loving anyone the way that I loved Jesus. My heart always sang his praises. Now, I was even more eager to fall asleep. Jesus held my hand and assisted me into the glass coffin.  The linen felt like I was lying on a cloud.  I was honestly sleepy from walking in the valley all day and passing out flower petals. Jesus could feel my fatigue. My cheek gently touched the silk pillow and I looked at Jesus with my big eyes and said, “Thank you Father”, and he responded, “Sleep my child and have your Earth dream”.  “I will be here, right by your side to greet you when you wake up”, and as fast as he said those words I briefly remember thinking that having a love connection during my Earth dream would be so sweet; I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.

1 Thessalonians 5:5-6 “For you are all children of the light of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.  So be on your guard, not asleep like the others”.

Much Luv,

Fall Dating Sense

So, it’s been a while since you’ve been back on the dating scene and you find yourself single and ready to mingle!  Good!  Dating is healthy and it’s extremely enjoyable!  I think fall is an awesome time of year to fall in love, hehe. It’s also a fabulous time to get back onto the scene if you’ve been laying low for awhile. Summer’s officially over and the bikinis are well tucked away.  When someone approaches you now, you know it’s not because more than half of your body is exposed and oiled down.  Covered up in denim, scarves and riding boots; it’s nice to know that someone is approaching you on a more wholesome and genuine level.  How do you get back on the scene when you’ve taking some time off? I suggest that you be sensible and open-minded about it.  Fall is a great time of year to get dressed early on a Saturday morning and head out to a museum or an art gallery.  Here in New York City, we have so many weekend activities to choose from.  There’s also a ton of things to do right here in Brooklyn! If you get the sense that someone’s admiring you from afar never be afraid to smile, wave or say, “Hey”. In all honesty, what do you have to lose?  NOTHING! I would encourage staying out of the bars and lounges unless you’re just out with your girls or your guy friends for a fun night out with no intentions set on meeting anyone.  What keeps me from meeting people in places like this, is the fear that it’ll be used against me down the road with a partner saying something like, “You met me in the bar, now you don’t like that I’m there every weekend?”  I’ll pass on that lol.   I suggest putting some effort into dating and even into, “By chance”, encounters by being smart about them. What are you looking for in an ideal partner?  We put so much effort into where we’ll go to school, our careers, who we select to watch our children, and yet when it comes to relationships we leave everything to fate and wing it.  You need to be clear on what you’re looking for before getting back out there. You can save yourself valuable time by just putting pen to paper and jotting down a few things you want and maybe even a few that you absolutely know that you don’t want.



So, now what if you’re not even remotely spontaneous enough to hop on the train, venture out and be open to a random encounter?  I mean let’s face it; many of us are a little uptight (I damn sure know that I am).  If we weren’t, there might be more of those random encounters of strangers having coffee.  If you’re not the spontaneous type you might want to spend your Saturday morning exploring the ins and outs of online dating, (while watching a romantic comedy dvd to help loosen you up).  This organized style of dating gives you somewhat of a prescreening advantage before actually going out with someone.  I personally like that but it does come with a fee. The more you’re willing to invest, the more you get out of the filtering, messaging, control, etc.   If you‘re a visual person, stimulated by physical looks or a by a person’s career background, you can surf until you find precisely what interest you.   I’ve been curious about online dating for a long time now but I’m also trying to let go of that controlling side that I recognize in myself.  I’ll typically do a free-trial run which allows you to view profiles but I never fully take the plunge by signing up and releasing my credit card information. I’m definitely giving it serious consideration this fall. Being safe is what matters most when it comes to any type of dating.  Watching television shows like MTV’s, “Catfish”, has opened my eyes to see that not everyone out there is completely truthful when it comes to uploading their online profiles.  I’m still a very old-fashion kind of girl in the sense that I would rather meet a guy through my own circle of friends or in a setting that provides a little bit more information than, “Hello, My Name is…”  I have my spiritual beliefs as well and in my heart I believe that none of us are going to meet that perfect stranger, in that perfectly strange setting, at that perfectly strange moment, until God is ready to intervene on our behalf.  In the meantime, staying engaged, having fun and learning the most you can about YOU, is what’s most important until that time finally arrives.   Dating can help you tremendously with that. You can learn a lot about what you want and what you don’t want from a relationship while you’re dating and that’s a really good thing! 

Listening to the opposite sex and getting a feel for how they view your gender is equally as important.  As a woman, I’m always eager to hear how men feel about being in committed relationships that involve traditional courtship, God and possibly marriage.  I’m sure men are interested in hearing women’s views and values on much of the same.  As a writer, I’m always interested to hear how both genders approach and view dating. One thing I’ve learned from conducting interviews is the importance of laying your cards on the table quickly. For example, waiting for the perfect moment to reveal that you’re abstaining from sex, or that you have 12 children will never happen!  Be completely honest about this even if you have to say it before ever meeting up with someone.  You have lost nothing if they make the choice to never meet with you.  You’ve taken control and actually filtered what you didn’t need right from the jump.  Many people nowadays view dating as a casual sexual relationship that involves having no strings attached. Although that may be so far on the other end of the spectrum from what dating means to you, it’s very important that your intentions and reasons for dating are voiced and understood at, “Hello”.  This will avoid any misunderstandings or hard feelings later down the road.  Don’t make any apologies for who you are or for what your belief system contains.  Just be fair to whomever you are involved with so that they have a choice when it comes to whether or not they choose to be involved with you.  Dating very well could lead to finding your life partner.  Keeping that in mind at all times will help you to cherish that person even in the early stages.  Have fun, be honest and under no circumstances do you ever, ever, ever compromise your sense of self.  It’s a cozy time of year to have a Pumpkin Spice Latte and get to know someone.  Be fearless in your fall dating J

Much Luv,

Kissing Dairy Goodbye

If you’re anything like me, then you have grown up loving and enjoying an array of dairy products. From gallons of whole cows’ milk and cheese, to butter, yogurt, sour cream and ice cream.  These products are high in fat and they’re extremely hard for us to digest. Learning how difficult it is for the human digestive tract to digest dairy has made me rethink this classic food product in my life.  Keeping my cheese or keeping my expanding midsection at 36, has become a very real question for me.  My taste buds are beginning to come very secondary to my heart-health.  What I didn’t prepare for was how difficult walking away from these products would actually be.  Think about it, we’re told that yogurt, cottage cheese, and cheese sticks are excellent low-calorie snack options when trying to maintain a healthy diet. Add those I listed, plus my morning cup of coffee with half-and-half and my morning bowl of cereal with milk and by midday, my diet mostly consisted of dairy products. My body virtually struggles for the remainder of the day trying to break what I’ve digested down.  In my previous article, I discussed our intimacy with our favorite foods.  We have this passionate love affair with foods and with desserts so much so that giving them up can be worse than breaking up with a beau.  Before I started this challenge, I had to identify how many of my favorite dishes and vegetarian meals actually incorporated dairy and I was nearly floored when I realized that there was nearly nothing in my diet that didn’t consist of it.  That was extremely eye-opening for me.  I immediately wondered how I was going to clean this up.  Have you ever dreaded cleaning your closet? Well this was how I was feeling.  Fall is an extraordinary time of year that makes me feel fearless!  My openness to try new things during this particular time of year never ceases to amaze me.   With the cool crisp air in the wind, I feel motivated and encouraged to change with the season.  The vibrant colors of the leaves inspire me and I know that I can push myself outside of my own comfort zone.



 I initially started by being aware at all times of what I was eating or drinking. As a vegetarian I was very use to doing this anyway.  I swapped out dairy in the places that I found it easiest like Silk Milk for cow milk, Earth Balance for butter, and veggie cheese for whole cheese.  Sounds easy so far right? Not so much.  I quickly realized that my morning coffee on the go wasn’t as easy as it once was; if I was unable to drink my coffee black (which I wasn’t), I had to leave Dunkin Donuts behind and make the switch to Starbucks that at least conveniently serves vanilla soy milk and makes delicious soy latte’s.  Of course, when I have time I make my coffee at home but that isn’t always an option. My newest challenge was kicking my ass, because some days I just didn’t want soy milk or veggie cheese or Earth Balance for butter.  Some days I just wanted what I was habitually accustomed to eating and drinking.  Here’s where your self-discipline must kick in. I will be brutally honest with you in this, we can train ourselves to get used to anything as long as we have the willingness to work through the resistance and the power to quiet our minds.  My first two-weeks without dairy I realized that I would have to go the fight in very small intervals.  I didn’t always have the willpower to pass up a cannoli dessert or a piece of spinach lasagna.  Even my favorite salads were garnished with cheese shavings or feta crumbles. I initially couldn’t believe from breakfast to dinner how many dishes used dairy products. At one point I even considered the fact that I was ok with my expanding waistline and maybe dairy wasn’t so bad but WAIT!  I was taking a daily CLA supplement, which goes deep into the body’s stored fat pockets and flushes them out.  What in the world would make me take this supplement only to be reloading those same fat pockets with dairy products that my body was unable to digest?  The numbers wouldn’t add up mentally so each time I fell I just got right back up.  If I slipped up on a Saturday and ate a slice of cheese, by Sunday I was back on my, “No Dairy Bandwagon”.  The faster you regain your focus, the more control you’ll have over the change. You must be reading this thinking, “What a vicious cycle this is”, and I have to tell you it really is.  I never thought that what I ate would take so much consideration and effort on my behalf, but we all know that nothing worth having comes easy.  We’re taught to watch portion size and to eat lots of dark green leafy vegetables but when do you really hear people say, “Dairy doesn’t digest well, it keeps you bloated and your stomach will continue expanding if you keep eating it”.  On a more positive note, I did start to hear, “Your skin is glowing”, “You look amazing”, and these were the compliments that assured me that I had to keep fighting my addiction against dairy products.  “We are what we eat” and this statement is so underrated here in the United States. The beauty of our bodies is that they tend to work with us. When we move it moves yet, when I’m doing too much of anything, I either suffer the consequences or reap the benefits.  For example, if I successfully make it 5-10 days without dairy and then decide to indulge, guess what happens next?  My stomach is typically unsettled for days which is an instant indication that my body handling the shift in diet well. The discomfort I feel reminds me that the indulgence wasn’t worth it.



Finally, what’s been working best for me is an increase in both fresh vegetables and fresh fruit.  There is such a variation of both in the market today that it would be impossible for one to get bored or to be limited in options.  I feel less guilt, when I snack on fruits rather than the traditional dairy options that I was once loved.  Ladies, if you struggle with cellulite you will especially want to stay away from dairy even in your morning cup of coffee.  A licensed-esthetician recently explained to me that it’s not the coffee we drink that contributes to our cellulite but what we put in the coffee, (milk & sugar).  She also advised me never to eat ice cream or pastries, EVER! For help with unsightly cellulite, (if you are serious about changing your diet), I recommend VelaShape massage treatments; again only if you’re serious about changing your diet (If you’re going to eat the same, and have these massage treatments which gently reduce the appearance of cellulite on the top surface of the skin by heating it and smoothing it out you will definitely be wasting your money). If I wasn’t seeing the results on my own skin, I might be willing to argue with the esthetician but seemingly she is absolutely right.  Will all of these tips work out perfectly all of the time?  Of course they won’t, yet I imagine that these small intervals of trial and error are far better than never having tried at all. It’s all about implementing valuable substitutions. Starting with the little things like waking up the water in your home with a twist of lime, mint, and cucumbers (altogether in a pitcher) and gradually working your way up to bigger changes.  I drink this every morning before doing anything.  It’s a natural way to detoxify.  I would also suggest drinking one glass of this right before going to bed. I’ve also replaced my regular carbs with slow carbs like quinoa, and brown rice.  I go gluten-free whenever I can and when I just can’t resist a craving for something like eggplant parmigiana, I make it myself!  This way I have total control over what goes into it.  Instead of using eggs to coat the eggplant I use Original Silk Milk, and instead of my once beloved mozzarella cheese I use, “Trader Joe’s Vegan Mozzarella Style Shreds”.  I find beauty in all of the dietary options I have and I hope you will too.   My advice for someone just starting out would be to pack your own snacks and meals for the day.  Lunch bags have become so trendy these days that carrying one around actually makes you look smart not cheap lol.  By having your snacks and meals pre-packed you will completely bypass the root of evil/tasteful temptation.  Wishing you all success with this Fall Fitness Challenge Series, and if you need any assistance please don’t hesitate to reach out.  God Bless You All.

Much Luv,

Fall Fitness Focus for the Family

 



Last week, I challenged adults to consider making healthier food choices.   A challenge that incorporates motivation, discipline and exercise even as chilly fall weather begins to settle in.  What I left out of that article were our children.  Whether you are a parent or you spend loads of time entertaining your nieces, nephews, cousins or younger siblings; if you’ve committed to a more health conscious lifestyle than you are obligated to take them along for the ride.   Behind the eyes of my little guy, {pictured above}, are the eyes of the future generations of my family.  When these eyes stare back at me I know that they trust me for everything.  I am very pleased to say that my 3 children all practice a vegetarian lifestyle.  My middle child started the journey for all of us and gradually we each adapted at our own pace.   I would love for the entire world to consider a plant-based diet, but obviously I know that just won’t happen. What I want you to know is that this journey has never been easy and temptation is at every turn.  Childhood is where all of our habitual eating habits begin.  Whether those habits are good or bad, they began when we were children.   Had someone come to me 5 years-ago to pitch a vegetarian lifestyle to me, I would have looked at them like they were nuts!   I was trained to believe that I needed meat and dairy in order to survive. Secondly, I believed that I loved these foods. Cheese was like a glorious experience for me that felt like a warm and passionate embrace.  We have this intimacy with the foods that we enjoy and whether we intend to or not we pass that onto our children.  The problem with this intimate relationship is that we tend to adore the richest, fattiest and most unhealthy foods.    The beauty of personal growth is that as we learn, we teach the generations after us.  Back to school is in full-effect around the country and I wonder how much thought you put into what your child will eat daily.  My best advice is to have a pre-planned menu.  Poor planning whether it’s for breakfast, packed school lunches or dinner will result in a drive-thru run to Burger King or McDonald’s and our children don’t need the sodium in the food or the sugar in the beverages.   

 



My son Jessiah and I typically always discuss what’s going to be on the menu a day in advance.  For breakfast during the week, he has a choice of wholesome cereal and almond milk, whole fruit or a fruit and veggie smoothie infused with nuts for added energy which is great when we’re in a rush.  Jessiah, is a 11 years-old now and he loves cereal by a company that has been around for years and is ironically called, “Barbara’s”, http://barbaras.com/about-barbaras/.  What I’ve been discovering across the board is that many parents don’t find that a vegetarian lifestyle offers enough alternatives for their child.  I try to come up with as many variations as I can because my son is a very picky eater with a long list of food allergies.   Weekends, are obviously a lot easier to manage because there aren’t any time constraints.  The same child that once loved tasty turkey bacon for breakfast has learned to love veggie bacon.  His favorite veggie bacon on the market is MorningStar Farms https://www.morningstarfarms.com/products/breakfast/veggie-bacon-strips?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=morningstar%20farms%20bacon&utm_content=Bacon_Broad&utm_campaign=Intention_Products&gclid=COG88pPN0rkCFe1DMgod41MAUg. This veggie bacon is a little higher in sodium than I would like but I serve it to him with pancakes that are loaded with fresh blueberries for a healthy balance.  His weekday, “on-the-go, morning smoothie is a joy for me to make.  He likes spinach, bananas, apples, blueberries, strawberries, cucumbers and almonds.  Having a nutribullet at home will help you to whip up a smoothie for your child in less than 3 minutes.  No sugar, juice, or added sweetener, just water and the ingredients that I listed above.  If you don’t have a nutribullet at home you can take a moment to look at what they have to offer and see if this system is something for you http://www.nutribullet.com/site/index?gclid=CJDW5r7P0rkCFepFMgodhSkA6g. I never have to trick Jessiah when it comes to using our nutribullet.  He likes being involved in what we chop up in the kitchen and blend in the system.  Breakfast on the run used to include a croissant from Starbucks which is loaded butter, fat and calories.  When he’d hop out of the car to head into school last year, I’d find myself finishing his half-eaten pastry which had the type of calories that I absolutely didn’t need.  



When we eat healthy we inspire our children to do the same.  We can’t blame anyone but ourselves for taking them into fast food restaurants.  There are no proven nutrients in fast food and we aren’t doing our children any favors by feeding it to them.  Realistically, we will all find ourselves in situations where we just can’t make it home at a decent time to cook a good meal.  On those days, Jessiah and I pop into Boston Market {a meat-lover’s haven}, and we as vegetarian’s order what’s called a, “sides-sampler plate”, which allows us to pick 3 of their fresh vegetables.  Their veggies include the likes of, garlic or creamed spinach, mixed veggies, string beans, and fresh corn. An added treat is that each plate comes with 1 small piece of sweet cornbread that Jessiah simply loves!  I give him bottled water for a drink versus the fountain sodas and juices that are offered by the, “not so fast food”, chain.  Every now and again I also let him have lemonade because I do realize that he’s still a kid. Overtime, his cravings that were once for chips, unhealthy snacks and food have completely changed for the better.  Last night, he suggested that we have brown rice with broccoli and zucchini for dinner tonight. A huge misconception that parents and adults alike have is that grains and vegetables can’t fill us up.  Everything is possible but it starts with us and it takes discipline and strength.  While some of us were privileged enough to grow up in homes that ate healthy, many of us weren’t.  The changes in our home start with us.  We can break the chains of diabetes, heart-disease, and stroke by changing ordinary food choices into extraordinary intellectual decisions that are heart healthy. It won’t happen overnight but what really does?  My same child that was on a crusade against veggies now realizes that there should always be something green on his plate because his mother and father have taken the time to teach him that.  As your little ones embrace being back to school please encourage them to make healthy food choices.  Leading by example today will help our future generation embrace a healthier and fit-conscious tomorrow.  Challenge yourselves this fall and keep in mind that by adding your children to the challenge will also help you to attain your fitness goals. 

Much Luv,

Fall Fitness Challenge

How bad do you want it?  Good health, great skin, a more toned physique?  How much work are you willing to put in to get it?  The things we ingest speak volume in regard to how we view, love, and care for ourselves.  Some have very little regard for this area of their lives and I too once participated in that same level of ignorance.  Since childhood, most of us have been introduced to the likes of fast food, dairy products and in some cases junk food by the truckloads.  Retraining my mind over the past two-years to eliminate my cravings for these particular foods and to embrace a vegetarian lifestyle has been difficult.  My eagerness to learn about my new diet of plant-based, well-harvested and organically grown products has helped me tremendously with this transition.  Staying out of my former hot spots like McDonald’s, Applebees, TGIF’s and Chili’s has also proven to be quite beneficial.  Once I began eating differently, I realized that most of my favorite restaurants served up food that was loaded with sodium, cheese, and pork.  These were some of the things that were bloating me, causing acne breakouts on my skin and assisting my body to store unneeded fat in places that I definitely didn’t want it. A few of these restaurants also serve alcohol for an additional amount of added calories. My vegetarian lifestyle has now begun to manifest itself in my newfound muscle tone and body structure which continues to surprise me.  Thank God for wisdom and discernment; this former glutton has been set free.  I love the saying, “When you know better, you do better”, and the reflection in my mirror is a much healthier woman.  I have to consciously make decisions throughout my day which constitute what will and will not go into my mouth. From alcohol to cigarettes what we allow into our system will ultimately determine what is going on inside of our bodies.  How we feel, how our spirit feels and how we view life can all be transformed by the things that we eat and in some cases drink.  Greasy foods that are loaded with fat and sodium weigh us down and can play a tremendous role in daily fatigue. The more fatigue we feel, the less capable we are of any type of exercise.  Alcohol can lead to depression and addiction, cigarette smoke and drug use can lead to the malfunction of precious life organs, suffocating them of oxygen and resulting in death or life-threatening diseases.

 

Fruits, vegetables and organic teas can make us feel light and airy throughout the course of our day which can increase our desire for increased mobility. During the summer months I find that more of us are prone to opt for refreshing salads, healthy fruit smoothies and water but what happens as fall rapidly approaches and the weather changes?  How many of us, still opt for the crispy garden salad versus a fast burger and fries in a to-go bag?  A colder season can force us to lean on hotter food choices and can also encourage our desire to stay indoors. In some instances, the sadness of seeing the summer go can cause a natural reaction of introversion.   About a week ago, it dawned on me that many of us will stop whatever exercise and outdoor activities we had in place during the summer months.  Many of us will get back to the television remotes or our favorite indoor activity and we’ll begin layering the clothes.  What if, you had a spectacular vacation planned in the Bahamas set for December 1^st?  Could your body really afford to wait until New Year’s Eve to get back into your rusty gym membership resolution?  This is the mentality I’d like to see you adapt for fall.  Brooklyn has a ton of outdoor landscapes that are beautiful to speed walk or even jog along side of like the, Brooklyn Bridge Park where I took these photos and the Belt Parkway are two of my favorites.  Be childlike, and pretend that the vacation of your life is right around the next corner even if you don’t realistically have the funds to plan one! Most importantly, let’s not give up on moving our bodies!  Don’t let garden salads flail in the wind just because there isn’t warm summer sun to enjoy them with.  Challenge yourself!  Challenge your body to come along for the ride. Don’t pack your bikinis away with the intention of not seeing them until next June.  What if, you just ate salads, fresh fruits, raw vegetables and you sipped on organic teas that felt more comforting to your soul than a warm chocolate cookie?  What would your New Year’s resolution be this year if that’s how you spent the fall?   You would crave more healthy, more exercise and more nutrition.  It would all make sense!  It might even spill into other areas of your life you’re your personal relationships. One positive action attracts another. That is the beauty of God’s wisdom; when you can separate yourself from conditions that have become habitually negative for your life.  You can free yourself from all the chains that are weighing you down and start fresh; knowing that it’s never too late.  It might sound trivial to compare what’s going into your mouth with what’s going on with your soul but I’m sure that you’ll be able to see the correlation.  In order to win and to truly have the victory you need to be good to your body. Be careful what you eat, who and what you let enter your temple, and what stress you do and don't take on.  All of these things will be contributing factors to your levels of peace or misery.  When you set your standards higher than you can actually reach, you'll always win and you'll more than likely exceed any expectations that you've placed on yourself.

 



Finally, as I say goodbye to my favorite time of year I want to encourage you to come up with the sun every morning.  Breathe, and go out into the crispy air before it gets too cold to be out there.  Connect with your workout.  Connect with the location of your workout.  Brooklyn has great beaches and when I head over to a local favorite of mine actually called, “Manhattan Beach”, I love to just run on the sand.  Running on the sand feels similar to wearing ankle weights and offers a fair amount of resistance for muscle toning.  I fully take my surroundings in and I use this time to pray as well.  In Psalms 23:2, there’s a passage that says, “He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams”.  Exercise is the perfect time to connect and really talk with God.  The Bible says that Jesus used to go out into the wilderness to pray.  The wind, the sun, the water, the sand, the trees, the birds, the sky, will all help you to connect with your own inner peace. I never feel closer to God more than I do when I’m outside and fully submerged in nature.  Gratitude engulfs me when I’m outside; the full realization of a new day, a new opportunity and another 24-hour chance at life; all because my Heavenly Father keeps choosing me.  So with an incorporation of mind, body and soul connectivity you too can implement a system that works to improve your overall quality of life. From workout clothing that makes you feel empowered to supplements and ideas that will help you to get rid of stubborn fat that seems to never go away.  I’ll be sharing my thoughts and my insight throughout this fall season that will enlighten you and have you proudly jamming at your next New Year’s Eve celebration!  No more sulking and hiding in another resolution of guilt and shame resulting from overeating, bad food choices, and lack of mobility and prayer.  Let’s move!  Let’s Breathe! Let’s Exercise!  Let’s Connect!  Let’s Live! And most importantly.. Let’s Talk About It…

 

Much Luv,