I Fell Asleep in Heaven

I felt completely in my element as I maneuvered through this place quickly; as if I had spent a lifetime here. I can remember passing out flower petals by the handfuls to little children that were so happy to see me coming. I knew all of these children very well.  Their little faces bought me so much joy. Some would run up and smile while others just wanted to touch the tips of my fingers.  One child found so much joy in simply resting his tiny hand on my cheek  as I knelt down to give him a handful of petals.  The children would throw the petals in the air while singing, laughing and dancing with one another.  On this day I moved with an unusual haste.  I had a meeting scheduled with Jesus in the quiet garden.  Jesus spent a lot of time alone in the quiet garden and none of us bothered him when he was there.  An Angel summoned me earlier this day and advised me that the Lord needed to speak with me.  I knew Jesus very well and I was eager to hear what he had to say. He was my Heavenly Father but he was also my best friend.  I could talk to him about anything and his caring advice was always perfectly on time.  Everyone here was Jesus’ best friend and he always made time for all of us; especially when we were heavily burdened and in need of counsel. He started our discussion by commending me on my work here in heaven.  I couldn't help but to notice the glass coffin lying on top of a beautiful pedestal in the middle of the garden. It had this magnificent glow to it and inside I could see that the linens and pillow were made of silk in a pearl like color. In this place called Heaven we don’t have any fear or anxiety because we trust the Lord for everything.  I was an eager spirit and Jesus always commended me for my naturally inquisitive ways.  I had a fascination with the brilliant colors of the flowers and I also shared this same fascination with the colors of the birds and how they soared in the wind.  I would wear my clothing drapery light and flowing to my ankles. I always selected the whitest of whites although we could also wear pearl and ivory. I was eager to hear what the Lord had called me to do today.  Like a soldier of war I was ready to serve in any way that he needed me to.  

I thought that Jesus might want me to spend more time with the children. I had the feeling that he would want me to take them out into the valley and read to them more.  I enjoyed reading to the children.  I was rather surprised when Jesus said that I had done everything that he needed me to do in Heaven. He knew that I was eager to dream about Earth as I had heard some of the elders discussing their Earth dreams amongst each other. “Oh how delightful”, I blurted out and Jesus’ face became instantly grieved.  He said, “My child they will reject your spirit in your Earth dream”.  “Your spirit is much like mine and they prefer the darkness there”.  The darkness was only something I had heard the elders discussing.  I knew it wasn't pleasant like the flowers but I still said, “Jesus, the elders come back and say that what they loved most on their Earth dream was their children”.  They explained to me that they had children that specifically belonged just to them.  I couldn't completely understand that because I loved all the children here in Heaven the exact same and I knew that they all loved me with the same heart. Jesus said, “You will have 3 children on your Earth dream to care for”. “Wonderful”, I said, as my heart instantly warmed up with love for them.  “Your love for them will make it difficult for you to wake up but you will have to leave them and come back home to your work here”, Jesus said.  “Yes Father”, I understand.  I didn't want to come back from my Earth dream old like the elders because I knew the children of Heaven depended on my spirit. Jesus didn't typically call anyone my age to have an Earth dream because the elders would say, “they just weren't ready”.  The elders never discussed the darkness of the Earth dream because they would say, “It’s too painful to talk about”.  A very old elder once said to me that Earth was a wild and dirty place and she begged me to ask Jesus to never let me have the dream because she said I was, “too pure”, and “too beautiful”.  I still wanted to go.  I heard stories of love, and joy and of communion with others that filled me with happiness. There was a connection that the elders made there that they could simply never forget and I didn't want them to.  I knew Jesus was mistreated during his Earth dream and he had the holes in his hands and his feet that showed it.  Because I never experienced anything but peace, joy, love and cleanliness I couldn't imagine violence or crime or any of those words that the elders used to describe their Earth dreams. I began to pray for an Earth dream each night before I closed my eyes. 

This is why I was in the quiet garden with Jesus today.  He said, “I hear your prayers child but my heart grieves to let you enter the Earth dream”. I said, “Father, I promise I will be ok”.  I promised to be a good person and a good, “mother”, the words the elders used to describe people that had children specifically assigned to their care. Jesus said, “I know and that is why I have chosen to let you go now, but I must warn you that you won’t come back here the same”.  “Oh thank you Father and I promise I will come back the same”, was all that I could muster up to say.  I didn't get to tell my friends in Heaven that I was going but I knew like the elders before me that I would be back. I didn't think that Jesus would let me sleep long enough to become old. Some of the elders were old and very shaken-up when they returned as if it were more of a nightmare.  Jesus would send me to sit with them and to say caring words to them until they remembered that they were back home and no longer asleep and in the dream. I had a lot of work to do in Heaven with the children so I knew I couldn’t be in my dream for long. “Oh finally, an Earth dream”, is what I thought to myself as Jesus walked with me over to the glass coffin.  Jesus explained that I wouldn't remember Heaven in the dream and that when I did it would be nearing the time for me to return home. He said that he would watch over me every step of the way because I was his child and he cared for me deeply.  He warned me of the temptations that Satan would throw my way and he explained that my love for the 3 children would make me want to stay in my Earth dream forever.  Jesus said, “I will be here when you wake up and I will be the one to help you to ease the pain of the separation from them”.

They will never forget you and I promise that when they wake up from their own Earth dream I will reunite the 4 of you here.  You have done great work here in Heaven and this will be my reward to you. He also said that each of them would keep a tiny piece of me that would carry them through their own Earth dreams and I thought that was splendid. I smiled big because I couldn't imagine loving anyone the way that I loved Jesus. My heart always sang his praises. Now, I was even more eager to fall asleep. Jesus held my hand and assisted me into the glass coffin.  The linen felt like I was lying on a cloud.  I was honestly sleepy from walking in the valley all day and passing out flower petals. Jesus could feel my fatigue. My cheek gently touched the silk pillow and I looked at Jesus with my big eyes and said, “Thank you Father”, and he responded, “Sleep my child and have your Earth dream”.  “I will be here, right by your side to greet you when you wake up”, and as fast as he said those words I briefly remember thinking that having a love connection during my Earth dream would be so sweet; I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.

1 Thessalonians 5:5-6 “For you are all children of the light of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.  So be on your guard, not asleep like the others”.

Much Luv,

The Importance of Stillness

Dear BC Readers:



I'd like to share this story to let you know how my journey has led me to all of you. My hope is that you will connect and understand that even if we stray from our destined paths we can always find our way back. This is how I found stillness and oneness with my inner self.



On the morning of April 24th, 2010, I woke up at the crack of dawn as I often do every morning. I looked out of my hotel window onto the glorious sight you see above. I remember taking a very deep breath and exhaling in a way that a person exhales only when they are fully entrenched in the moment. Nothing skipped my view at that moment. Not the beautiful way the palm trees moved in the wind, or the way the sun peaked through the early morning sky, or the way the waves moved in succession. I watched the early morning joggers down on the boardwalk and I wondered briefly what motivates them to be up and out so early for exercise? Life presented itself to me in it's simplest form of beauty and I stopped everything to pay attention and watch. For the first time in maybe 20 some odd years, I wasn't worried about my early morning cup of coffee. The only sound I was conscious of was the sound of my own breathing. There was this awesome feeling of divinity and a feeling that I deserved to be exactly where I was. I've always been a spiritual person (I do not go to church) and yet I never question God's presence (Divine presence) in my life. The experience I had in the window that day was deeper than most I'd ever encountered. I stood there calm, and still, and I only moved away for an instant to grab my camera in order to try and capture the moment. I felt God's presence and I knew my trip to Miami Beach would have nothing to do with partying or shopping like I had initially imagined. I felt like I was being nudged yet I had no idea why and at the very same time I had a very strong sense of comfort surrounding me. The beach was calling and I knew I would spend my days there.



Worry and fear stayed back home in NYC. They didn't follow me on my trip and needless to say I was glad. I was also in town to see my girlfriend's new baby and I was genuinely excited and anticipated how great that would be. You see, living in a fast-paced city like NYC can make a person unintentionally overlook all the precious things that life has to offer. People can tell us a million times that "Life is short", but how often do we bask in that thought? The birds, trees, flowers, new babies, and even animals are things in life that I typically don't take the time to really see. Of course every now and then I'll take a long inhale of a flower's scent or I'll notice how blue the sky is but generally I miss out on these things because I'm constantly on the go. I'm often so fixated on just catching my morning bus and train that I forget to be still. I forget to live in the now vs focusing on the future or spending time reflecting on my past. My bills tend to consume my thoughts as well from time to time and that keeps me on a "hustle and flow" movement. I was in Miami Beach and the most surprising thing to me was that I was fully there. I wasn't worried about anything other than eating, relaxing, and thanking God for the moment. Nothing escaped my eyes as the essence of peace surrounded me. When I walked to Dunkin Donuts that morning, I saw every boat, every beach home, every water fountain and every lizard and bug lol. I was there in that city and that city had all of me, (my full undivided attention). My coffee tasted better than it had in years and food had a taste that I had never before taken the time to notice. I ate things that were unfamiliar and I was excited doing that. I remember sitting on the floor Indian-style at an excellent Thai restaurant in a city called Aventura. Every morsel of food seemed exquisite. I had, "satay gai" and "lobster pad thai" and neither one seemed more delicious than the other. I was at peace in a way that only being fully present can allow a person to be. I wasn't preoccupied with anything, well at least I thought I wasn't. The little electronic handheld device in my purse was the only thing that was keeping me from being completely still.



I wanted to share the feelings I was having with all of my friends and family back home and on facebook. The happiness I was experiencing seemed to be a litte foreign and foolishly I originally associated those feelings with my hotel, which I'm wondering if I should even plug ok, (The Fountainebleau) and being in Miami Beach. To my hotel's credit the ambiance is extremely tranquil and resort like. So that morning I uploaded pictures and made comments indicating my every move. After having breakfast at Ihop I headed back to my hotel and finally gave into the pull I was feeling toward the ocean. I'll share another secret with my readers; I am deathly afraid of sharks. I love to swim so the contradiction usually meets with me opting to swim in pools vs oceans. I don't know how a housing-project kid from Brooklyn develops a shark phobia but I have one. I am so ridiculously, and deathly afraid of sharks that I would hit my girlfriend up on her cell phone before I left New York and I would text, "Have you ever seen a shark in the water out there?", and she would respond, "No, B". The anxiety I felt about the ocean in Miami lingered that entire week before I left NYC. Now, here I was feeling like I needed to bypass my hotel's gorgeous pool and head straight for the ocean. That feeling was so bizarre at the time. They say in life that with God there are no such thing as coincidences. Let me share what the man upstairs was brewing. About 20 mins after I arrived on that beach something conveniently ironic happened. It was 85 degrees that day so when I left my hotel room I decided to walk with a spray bottle of water just in case it got really hot. I failed to properly close the filled water bottle and threw it in my beach bag. I left the room almost forgetting that my Blackberry was on the charger. I grabbed it and threw it in my beach bag. The water spilled and my Blackberry would be a wrap for the next 3 days of my trip. You can't be fully present and technologically co-dependent at the same time lol. I will always credit God for what happened to my phone that day in a good way.



As I entered the ocean, which quickly became a daily recurrence and often more than once a day. I began to notice a few things. The one thing that stood out the most was that my fear of sharks had drastically diminished. I'm not going to tell you that it miraculously disappeared because it didn't but I would go out deeper and deeper less concerned about sharks and more concerned with leaving my baggage in the water. I collected years and years of baggage. The kind of baggage Erykah Badu, describes in her hit "Bag Lady". For those of you that are familiar with that joint, I missed a lot of buses over the years. For those of you who aren't familiar just know that baggage can really hold you down. Here I was in a new state and had the feeling of peace that I never realized I was missing in my life. What I find most difficult to do in my city is to drown out the noise of my busy day to day. What I found in Miami Beach was a way to easily do so. Life is what we make it and this was the feeling I started to identify with. I always knew that God had a plan for my life I just couldn't seem to put my finger on exactly what that plan entailed. I started thinking about the things I was naturally good at. I've always had a spirit to motivate and encourage others. I don't do so well taking my own advice, (but we'll save that for another article) lol. When I finally went to see my friend's new baby the shift that was occurring inside of me on this trip was even easier to see.



I can't tell you how often someone I know or someone they know has a baby. Countless Baby Shower's, and 1st Birthday parties are often on my agenda. The anticipation to see my friend's baby in Miami was a feeling that I was unfamiliar with. I don't have any Godchildren, which should tell you that no one has identified that connection in me to their child. That used to be a very disappointing feeling for me yet I realize that in all of my ripping and running I haven't taken the time to show anyone how much I love and/or appreciate their child. It's one thing to love and adore your own children but when you can extend those feelings to someone else's child then that really says something about your character. The parents of that precious child have seen something in you that reminds them of God or of God's likeness. I couldn't believe how present I was in every moment of seeing this dear, sweet, beautiful little girl. From the moment I reached out to pick her up I was fully aware, present and connected. I was still. I had heard from my friend that her daughter had that type of effect on everyone but knowing myself so well I was surprised at how I connected. I really believe I connected with this baby because I was being still and I was connected with my inner self. Not to mention this baby has a tremendous spirit that is warm and inviting. Conveniently, my girlfriend had to work that day and I was more than obliged to stay at her house and watch the baby. I was connected with everything about this baby from her tiny feet and hands to her beautiful eyes. This is what happens when your being still. Stillness allows us to see everything in a different light and when we can see things in a different light we tend to experience them differently. I found stillness in April 2010, and I have been changed ever since. I walk with a new found stillness and peace that I hope to pass onto others. I appreciate things in a way that I never have before. My creative abilities are at an all time high and I can feel the gentle presence of God pushing me forward and letting me know that I am back on the path that he has always intended for me. Thank you for reading.



Much Luv

~BC~