Monday, August 23, 2010

Against All Odds

The more I analyze things around me the more I realize that the odds I've been dealt are really not in my favor. The odds are more against me than for me. This is not one of those negative post that is intended to generate more negative energy. On the contrary, it's an analysis of what can be, versus what currently is, and a look into the power that we have to take a hold and have total control over our own destinies. If we're the ones driving the car then why on God's green earth would we drive it into a wall and crash it? The odds dealt say, that I should end up with some loser that isn't worth more than 5% of my time. The odds dealt say, I can have a mediocre relationship with him and be cheated on and disrespected throughout the course of the relationship. Nights filled with arguments that are centered around words such as, "liar" and "asshole". The odds dealt say, I should listen to my heart and hope for the best. I should play the Richard Gere/Julia Roberts scene in Pretty Woman over and over and convince myself that my knight in shining armor will come and sweep me off my feet as well. After a dream I had last night I say fuck the odds dealt, and I'm running in the opposite direction. "Against All Odds", I've decided that whatever I'm doing is not working. I'm going against the grain because quite frankly the grain is not working for me. I need to start forming a shift in consciousness, but I also need to start believing it and I'm encouraging you to do the same. As a woman who works hard, and successfully maintains and balances a family and a professional career why would I ever sell myself short? Why? Because women for decades before me tend to think with and follow our hearts. The only problem I have with this is that 9 out of 10 times we make the worse choice when we do so.

In business, everything is built on strategic planning and business proposals. If that's the case then why is it so hard to look at relationships the same way? When we do look at relationships from a business perspective then most women are considered, "Gold Diggers". Removing that thought from your mind I'm wondering if a relationship can be looked at from a business perspective. When a proposal is in the process of being devised or in this case a suitor is being considered for employment (as a mate or a future spouse) can we allow ourselves to do our own risk management assessment, and decide whether or not the pros outweigh the cons? Can we decipher between the most cost-effective solution with the lowest amount of risk to the business (which represents us). Our business integrated with their business equals a corporation that can either flop or prosper. I mean sure a heart felt feeling is a terrible thing to waste, yet at the same time I'm not sure that feelings of the heart should be the core determining factor or the nerve ending of a relationship. If something that feels so good to the warmest organ in our bodies that is supposed to be closely related to our souls, yet leaves us constantly wiping tears away from our face I would totally have to go with matters of the mind and leave my heart in the dust.

For centuries, many cultures and religions have believed and practiced "arranged marriages". The more I explore the thought the more intrigued I am by the concept. Every time a woman or man enters into a relationship with someone that they love more than they are being loved it seems like they end up with a broken heart. Hours of questioning the other person trying to find answers regarding what went wrong. I'll tell you what went wrong. We followed our heart and got shitted on and it's the way of the world (law of attraction). What I like most about these cultures built on arranged marriages is that the couple "learns" to love one another. There is no other option. They know that they are stuck in the situation and they can either live miserably or make the most of it. It seems to me like choosing the one that loves you versus the one you love can never be wrong. Wherever there are gaps they can be filled, and one person can learn to love another person in time. Often times, things can make perfect sense and also make no sense at all. I encourage all of you to do something different. If you find that what you're used to or what you typically find yourself doing is simply not working then you truly owe it to yourself to have the courage to try something else. Sometimes the things that hurt feel so good and what I'm learning through my own mistakes is that there is something very challenging about being with someone who doesn't completely acknowledge your worth. In some cases, I think we convince ourselves that if we stay the person will eventually see what we already know is there. The problem with this type of thinking is that it never happens. If a person doesn't know how great you are at the gate then they more than likely never will.

"What you want might make you cry." "What you need might pass you by." ~Lauren Hill~

Wishing you all luck in love.

Much Love
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